Happy Birthday James Lucas and Kyle Heaven

[AWA CEO: Mr. Timothy Draven]

Happy Birthday fuckers!

Crazy that you guys have the same birthdays!

(No, they are not the same person. I've begged Kyle to come back for a long ass time, and, Lucas came to us from a referral from someone who almost joined his dying fed with ours....still, like I said....crazy that you guys have the same birthday. Either way, happy birthday fuckers! If I wasn't on all sorts of crazy pain meds for my back, I would have a beer for ya....but I haven't drank in a while because they put me on something new that does stuff to the nerves in my body....but you can't drink or it will fuck with the meds bad, and.....in return, fuck with me!

Again, happy birthday fuckers. James will see this....Kyle probably won't....lol

[James Lucas]

no idea who kyle is. i have heard his name mentioned around here before, but never met him.

but thanks for the birthday wishes timbo. nothing too exciting. 26. planning on going out this weekend. until then, just another day

[SLAM II]

Happy birthday guys. Ill be getting high for you guys 26 times for you lucas. And however many for kyle! Woo thank god for other bdays!

[James Lucas]

dont know if thats good or bad, but if you are happy, yay!

[Lucius Bird]

Timmy: Kyle is studying in Malaysia this semester. Even when he gets back to Melbourne, I'd say his chances of returning are slim to none.

Happy birthday, Lucas. Hope it was a good one.

[Anthony Jordan]

Happy birthday, fellas.

Kyle seems like he's gone off the deep end in recent years. Sometimes I worry about him.

[theegomjw]

Congratulations and celebrations

[Lucius Bird]

Kyle is going alright, AJ. Doing well in his studies, employed, a social life much more active than my own (he found more kewl nerds to befriend than I have managed), etc. Next time I talk to him, I'll get him to give you motherfuckers a shout-out.

[Brandon "The Slayer" Morgan]

Happy Birthday, sir!

((I never got a happy birthday thread. )

lol

[James Lucas]

thanks and thanks and thanks

[Anthony Jordan]

Funny how this fed warps ages. Lucas is only a year younger than I am (less actually), and he's the "kid." Voss was like 2 years older than Sean in USCW, but he was the"kid."

[SLAM II]

im the fucking kid around here. the god damn youngin! yous guy like son i mean i was born and raised around you guys....


YOUR ALL MY DAD!!

[theegomjw]

im the youngest

i was 2 when i started, just hit my teens last year.

[James Lucas]

I took friday, saturday, and sunday and partied my life away with some friends. let me explain. I have stated before that I work with my uncles at their law firm. I work in the office answering phones and setting up appointments for people etc. (boring work, but they are my family so they pay me well) my cousin, who is a few years older than me, decided that I was going out with him and his friends. so a couple buddies of mine came to my house. eight of us went out bar hopping on friday. i had so much fun. i drank a lot, and even went home with this hot girl named Sara. she was a freak. I crashed at her house because I was drunk and her bedd was comfortable. woke up saturday to my cousin calling my cell telling me to get the fuck up and meet them at the local diner for breakfast. so I go there. we get a bite to eat. We leave and go to my cousins best friends house (Vinnie). We're at vinnies, it's about 11:45am and Vinnies hot mom comes out with a bottle of jager, a bunch of redbull and glasses. we all start having jagerbombs. I now know this is going to be one fucked up day.

we stay there for a while. Vinnies woman is going to drive us where ever we want to go. shes not drinking, so its all good. we go to a bar we love. it's 2pm and the bar has a bunch of old people sitting around the bar. WTF? so we order pitchers of beer and start playing music. we play some pool. the entire time we're getting dirty looks from the old people at the bar. One of the old people comes over and asks us to stop playing that "screaming shit". Another kid who knows my cousin (Tommy) decides to tell the old man to "shut the fuck up and mind your own business". Not good. I get in this kids face and tell him he should respect this guy. Now this kid wants to fight me. My cousin and Vinnie take this kid outside and send him home. Good.

My buddy Alex shows up. He orders some drinks. It's me, Alex, Vinnie, Vinnies woman and my cousin Joey. We hang out at this bar a lot, and we know the owners. we spend a lot of money in there. so we ask if we can play beer pong. they say sure, but dont let it get out of hand. so vinnies woman goes to the store and gets everything we need. we start playing beer pong in the bar. some of the old people are checking it out and want to know how you play. So we ask them if they want to play. they say yes. now were playing beer bong with people anywheres from the ages of 55 - 70 or older. THE FUNNIEST THING YOU'LL EVER SEE. So we're all having a good time. I'm on the same team as this old lady who has got to be pushing 70. She's got huge old lady tits. we're playing beer pong and i made the winning cup. she grabbed me and hugged me and kissed me right on my lips (GROSS), and then, she proceeded to shove my head inbetween her old saggy tits and rub my head against them! (no, i'm not kidding)

the grossest and funniest thing i've ever been a part of. we leave the bar and go grab pizza. drink a couple beers while eating pizza. head to another bar. it's lame so we leave and go to another. this ones not too bad but there are too many underage people there drinking. i don't want to deal with that so we leave and go back to our other bar. this place has picked up a bit. the chick i fucked the night before is there with her friend. her friend is hot. we all start drinking. her friend, Ashley, is hitting on me. we keep drinking, we get more and more drunk, and now ashley is making out with me next to the pool table. FUCKING KILLER TIME! As the night goes on, shes coming onto me more and more. so I take her in the back room of the bar and I fuck her. YES, I AM THE MAN AT THIS POINT!

We come back out and Sara is pissed. Super pissed. Won't talk to me or Ashley. Ashley needs to leave, so she leaves around midnight. we're all still drinking having fun. I buy Sara a shot or Soco and lime. we take the shot, and right there at the bar she starts making out with me. YES! Then whispers in my ear "you're going home with me tonight". What was I supposed to do? she wanted to fuck, so i took her back to her place. we jumped in the shower. i fucked her there, then fucked her in her bed. passed out and woke up sunday morning. Sunday morning, I was hurting pretty bad. felt like someone ran me over twice. so i took it slow. rested at my house most of the day. my cousin and his woman came over. We watched a movie and drank a couple beers. I've got Sara and Ashley both texting me non stop wanting to hang out. my cousin says I should see if they'll have a three-some with me.

his woman slaps him for saying that. but its a brilliant idea. so i ask them both. Sara says no, but ashley says yes. I need to work on Sara. finally, after the convo was done, she agreed to having a three-some, but all she would do with Ashley was kiss her. THATS ALRIGHT WITH ME! So we go to the bar. Sara shows up. Ashley shows up. Things are a little awkward. we drink A LOT. A LOT! Finally, Sara is loosened up and tells me she wants us to go home. So we all head to Saras house. My cousin and his woman take the spare bedroom and I'm in Saras room with her and Ashley. OH MY GOD, THE HOTTEST SHIT I'VE EVER SEEN. They make out with each other, next thing ya know, clothes are coming off, and well, you can use your imagination for the rest. All I'll say is, these two chicks had definiately fooled around with each other before. theres no way in fucking hell that this was their first time with each other. It was awesome. best birthday ever. i thought my birthday would be quiet. instead, it was the wildest shit i've ever exxxperienced. good times all around. just needed to share it with you guys.

[Anthony Jordan]

James Lucas: Old Chick Thrilla