Post by AWA Staff on Nov 18, 2009 14:56:30 GMT -4
Some are funny, some not so much but.... I had a laugh either way:
Vince McMahon, Bill Gates, and Donald Trump die in an airplane crash. The three billionaires then stand before God. God looks at Bill Gates and says, "Before I let you in to my kingdom, tell me what you truly believed on earth." Bill steps forward and says, "I believe that with the right amount of technology, we as a people can reach the farthest imaginings possible. I think that the universe is an obstacle we can overcome." God nods. The gates of heaven open. "You may enter Mr. Gates." He then looks to Trump. "And you? What were your beliefs?" Trump steps forward, "Well God, I believe that no person in the world should be without. I think the reason people are in poverty is because they are to lazy to get out of it. Anyone can be a billionaire. Anyone could make a fortune with the right amount of will power." God nods, "Mr. Trump. You may enter." God then looks to Vince. "And what do you believe?" Vince swaggers over to the throne of God, puts his foot up on the steps of his throne, looks God square in the eyes and says, "I believe that you are in my seat."
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My fave ones are in BOLD
Q: How come Vince no-showed Stephanie's graduation?
A: Because "Pomp & Circumstance" was playing.
Q: Why can't Jamie Noble play on the swings?
A: Because he needs a push.
Q: Why did Vince go to Heaven?
A: Because he had no chance in hell.
Q: Why does Mick Foley buy supermarket brand cola?
A: He always goes for the cheap pop.
Q: What's the difference between Lenin and CM Punk?
A: Lenin was never buried.
Q: What do you call the Great Khali without talent?
A: The Great Khali
Q: How many members of Legacy does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One while the other two apply baby oil on each other's backs
Q: Why did Chris Jericho cross the road?
A: To get to the other side....so he can punch an annoying fan
Q: What did John Cena say to his teacher after he got his report card?
A: You can't C me!
Q: What did Tazz say when Brock Lesnar's jet was landing?
A: Here comes the PLAAANNEEE!
Q: What's the difference between sex and the Undertaker?
A: Sex sells.
Q: Why should you never ride with Vince Russo at the wheel?
A: Because he's constantly swerving.
Q: What is The Great Khali's real height?
A: 7-11
Q: Vince Russo, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are trapped on a sinking ship. Who will be saved?
A: The Pro Wrestling Industry!
Q: Rob Van Dam and Sabu get in a car. Who's driving?
A: The police.
Q: Why couldn't Kane light the fireplace?
A: Because he loses all his matches.
Q: Why did Kelly Kelly have sex with Chavo after class?
A: The teacher told her to do an essay for homework.
Q: How was the officer certain that Rey Mysterio's driver's license was real?
A: He could see Rey's feet in the picture.
Vince McMahon, Bill Gates, and Donald Trump die in an airplane crash. The three billionaires then stand before God. God looks at Bill Gates and says, "Before I let you in to my kingdom, tell me what you truly believed on earth." Bill steps forward and says, "I believe that with the right amount of technology, we as a people can reach the farthest imaginings possible. I think that the universe is an obstacle we can overcome." God nods. The gates of heaven open. "You may enter Mr. Gates." He then looks to Trump. "And you? What were your beliefs?" Trump steps forward, "Well God, I believe that no person in the world should be without. I think the reason people are in poverty is because they are to lazy to get out of it. Anyone can be a billionaire. Anyone could make a fortune with the right amount of will power." God nods, "Mr. Trump. You may enter." God then looks to Vince. "And what do you believe?" Vince swaggers over to the throne of God, puts his foot up on the steps of his throne, looks God square in the eyes and says, "I believe that you are in my seat."
-------------------------------------------
My fave ones are in BOLD
Q: How come Vince no-showed Stephanie's graduation?
A: Because "Pomp & Circumstance" was playing.
Q: Why can't Jamie Noble play on the swings?
A: Because he needs a push.
Q: Why did Vince go to Heaven?
A: Because he had no chance in hell.
Q: Why does Mick Foley buy supermarket brand cola?
A: He always goes for the cheap pop.
Q: What's the difference between Lenin and CM Punk?
A: Lenin was never buried.
Q: What do you call the Great Khali without talent?
A: The Great Khali
Q: How many members of Legacy does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One while the other two apply baby oil on each other's backs
Q: Why did Chris Jericho cross the road?
A: To get to the other side....so he can punch an annoying fan
Q: What did John Cena say to his teacher after he got his report card?
A: You can't C me!
Q: What did Tazz say when Brock Lesnar's jet was landing?
A: Here comes the PLAAANNEEE!
Q: What's the difference between sex and the Undertaker?
A: Sex sells.
Q: Why should you never ride with Vince Russo at the wheel?
A: Because he's constantly swerving.
Q: What is The Great Khali's real height?
A: 7-11
Q: Vince Russo, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon are trapped on a sinking ship. Who will be saved?
A: The Pro Wrestling Industry!
Q: Rob Van Dam and Sabu get in a car. Who's driving?
A: The police.
Q: Why couldn't Kane light the fireplace?
A: Because he loses all his matches.
Q: Why did Kelly Kelly have sex with Chavo after class?
A: The teacher told her to do an essay for homework.
Q: How was the officer certain that Rey Mysterio's driver's license was real?
A: He could see Rey's feet in the picture.
