Post by Anthony Jordan on Apr 21, 2009 17:55:56 GMT -4
AJ-version
((This is an alternate reality, sadly I swear I'm not on anything, this just came to me while in the bathroom. I've been laughing all day.
You need to know this:
Luke Harris - Ric Flair
Anthony Jordan - HHH
Andy Sheehy - Randy Orton
Bill - Batista
Timmy Tabor - Shawn Michaels
Most of this was based off the member profiles. Andy just fit the Orton size mold (and he works there, too!). Bill is the biggest, so obviously he is Batista. Luke is a bit too large for Flair, but I'm sure he works it well. Me, I am the Game.))
*Inside McDonald's, it is dark as it is early morning. Suddenly, sparks start falling from in front of the main double doors. The doors bust open and in walks Evolution. Luke Harris leads the way strutting like Ric Flair. He is wearing manager clothes under his bathrobe. He turns around and starts bowing down. Anthony Jordan walks in wearing sunglasses (despite it being dark) and a nice looking McDonald's uniform. He is carrying a trophy with a spatula on top which Luke points to and "WOOOOOOOs." In his other hand, AJ has an open bottle of water. With his arms out like Randy Orton, Andy Sheehy walks in and spins around. Finally, Bill walks in and pops his neck. AJ smiles and leads the group to the back. Behind the register, AJ turns around and takes a swig of water. He throws the bottle away and spits it into the air. Luke gets on the mic and addresses the empty restaurant.*
Luke: "SHUT UP! This is the greatest group going in the fast food industry. You got our enforcer. A mountain of muscle, BILL!"
*Bill steps up and grins. He flexes a bit and steps back.*
Luke: "My God, what a man! Next is the hottest young star in all of fast food! All the ladies need a little vitamin A. Go ahead, Andy, show 'em what you got!"
*Andy does the Randy Orton pose and spins around. He then smiles with his pearly whites.*
Luke: "Finally, it is the man. He is a nine-time Golden Spatula winner! He is 'The Man.' He's taken the ball from me and is a certifiable legend! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! By God, he is the very best at what he does, AJ!"
*AJ takes off his sunglasses and puts them in his pocket. He smiles and hands the trophy to Luke. AJ gets on the mic.*
AJ: "Like I say every work day, I am that damn good!"
*Evolution claps.*
AJ: "I've destroyed all restaurants in our way. Burger King, Wendys, and all the rest. They can have it your way, but here, it's AJ's way!"
*Evolution claps again as Luke "WOOOOOs" and looks like a bobblehead.*
AJ: "We're always ready for a day of work. Andy, get to the fryers! Bill, get to the grill! Luke, hit the coolers! Me, I'll be in the break room!"
*Evolution takes off to their tasks. Andy speaks to Bill.*
Andy: "Isn't Luke the manager?"
Bill: "Yeah, but he's insane. Ever since his restaurant closed and he came to McDonald's, he's been AJ's bitch."
*Luke struts up to the coolers and opens the door.*
Luke: "WOOOOOOOOOO! It's cold, but we need some patties!"
**Later on in the day.**
*After Bill stocks the buns, the buns man comes up with a clipboard to Luke.*
Buns man: "Sign this, sir!"
*Luke goes to sign it when AJ walks up.*
AJ: "Who do you think you are?"
Buns man: "I'm the buns man. I just need the manager to sign for the order."
AJ: "Think you're going to talk to me like that? I am the Golden Spatula Winner!"
*Luke "WOOOOOOOOs" and struts. AJ gives a cocky smirk to the buns man and signs the paper. He then drops the clipboard and knees the buns man in the gut. He turns around in pain only to be driven to the concrete with a vicious Spinebuster from Bill. AJ, Bill, and Andy start giving the buns man some boots to the head and chest while Luke applies the Figure Four and "WOOOOOOOOOOs". After a beat down, AJ picks up the clipboard and drops it on the buns man's chest. Evolution raises each other's hands as AJ yells.*
AJ: "DON'T MESS WITH EVOLUTION!"
**A day later.**
*A trainee walks up to Luke. Luke is rambling about Space Mountain to some female customers, but turns around.*
Trainee: "I'm here to work, sir."
Luke: "Who do you think you are?! You may have gotten a job at McDonald's, and that makes you great. You are not a legend, though! You're a virgin, and we're going to make you scream!"
*The trainee gulps and walks to the back where Evolution is waiting.*
**Two weeks later.**
*The buns man is back. He is sporting a crutch and his face is bandaged up. He comes up to the registers from the back looking for AJ. AJ walks over smirking. Luke is strutting behind the registers not taking any orders. The customers look pissed and ask themselves why they come here.*
AJ: "Some people never learn."
Buns man: "Please, I'm not here to fight. You are the Golden Spatula Winner. Just please sign this."
*AJ takes the clipboard and signs the papers while smiling. He grins and hands them back.*
AJ: "Who am I again, bitch?"
Buns man: "You are the Golden Spatula Winner."
*AJ smiles as Luke "WOOOOOOOOs."*
Buns man: "Until Timmy Tabor takes it away."
*AJ's smiles turns into a look of fear.*
Buns man: "You didn't sign buns order. You signed a contract to defend your title against Tabor. Right here, RIGHT NOW!"
*Luke is spazzing out and throws down his bathrobe and kicks it. AJ is screaming "NO." He doesn't have much time as Timmy Tabor, in a Burger King uniform, drives over the counter and starts pummeling AJ with punches. The trainee walks up and makes Luke go to the customer side of the registers. Luke protests, but leaves. The trainee tells Bill and Andy to keep their distances. The customers are going nuts and start a "Timmy" chant. Timmy lets up on his punches and takes Luke's bathrobe. He puts it around AJ's neck and starts to choke him. Luke stands up on the counter. The trainee can't get him down, but Timmy gets up and throws Luke his robe and pushes him off. Timmy is talking smack to Luke, so Luke picks up a ketchup container and throws it. Timmy ducks, and it hits the rising AJ. Ketchup is all over AJ!*
Customer 1: "Less than five minutes into this and AJ is sporting the crimson mask!"
Customer 2: "AJ is a 9-time champion. He'll come back!"
*A "Holy Shit" chant breaks out as Timmy grins evilly. Timmy climbs on to the counter. He then leaps off and delivers an elbow drop to the champion. He covers AJ. The trainee counts, but only gets a two. Luke is still spazzing out on the other side of the counter. Andy tries to run in, but the trainee stops him. With his back turned, Bill runs in and smacks Timmy in the face with the metal lettuce holder. Timmy is now bleeding! Luke claps and is under control.*
C1: "Underhanded tactic by Evolution!"
C2: "Why do you think they've kept the trophy this long?"
C1: "Timmy won't give up, and the rest of the costumers are solidly behind him!"
*AJ is up first and throws a Happy Meal off the brown tray. AJ winds up with the tray, but the trainee takes it way. While he is distracted, Luke throws AJ a Monopoly pin. AJ loads his fist and delivers a hard punch to Timmy's face. AJ puts the pin in his pocket and covers. The trainee counts. ONE, TWO, Timmy kicks out! The crowd cheers as AJ looks pissed. AJ picks Timmy up and whips him to the fryers. Timmy his the device hard. AJ runs in, but gets grease to the face as Timmy picked up a fry cooker and tosses. AJ is rolling around and screaming in pain! Timmy goes to the front of the registers and starts tuning up the band. Bill tries to interfere, but the trainee stops him. Andy comes in from the side and grabs Timmy's wrist. Spinning him around, Andy hits the ASKO (RKO)! He pulls AJ on top. Luke celebrates as the trainee makes the count. ONE, TWO, THR...TIMMY KICKS OUT!*
C1: "What heart by the challenger! Few men kick out of the ASKO!"
C2: "With a slow count like that, anyone could. C'mon, trainee!"
*With both men rising, Luke spears Timmy! The trainee has had enough and KICKS LUKE OUT OF MCDONALD'S! Luke is livid and is forcing the trainee to shove him out the door.*
C1: "About time!"
C2: "How unfair is this?"
*Timmy is up again and so is AJ. Out of nowhere, Timmy hits Sweet Chin Music! The customers are going nuts! He covers AJ, but the trainee is still busy with Luke! The trainee finally gets Luke out and runs over to make the count. ONE, TWO... Bill kicks the trainee and breaks the count. The crowd is booing loudly. With a hard Clothesline, the trainee is out. Bill picks Timmy up and stuffs him between his legs. Bill goes for the Bill Bomb, but Timmy jumps off! Bill turns around and BAM! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Bill is out. Andy runs in looking for another ASKO, but Timmy shoves him off. Andy turns around and BAM! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!*
C1: "Luke's banned, and half of Evolution is out! Timmy's going to win!"
C2: "GET UP, AJ!"
*The roof is almost blowing off McDonald's, but a lot is out of Timmy and he collapses to all fours. Timmy finds the strength to get up and turn around only to receive a kick to the gut. AJ locks in the Pedigree to loud boos. AJ hits the Pedigree! He covers, but the trainee is still out! AJ wakes the trainee up and drags him over. He counts. ONE, TWO, THRE...TIMMY KICKS OUT!*
C2: "NOOOOOOO! AJ HAD IT WON!"
C1: "It's not over, yet!"
*AJ looks scared as he has no tricks left. He kicks the trainee, but turns his attention back to Timmy. AJ whips Timmy into the grill. AJ goes in for a Stinger Splash, but Timmy moves and AJ HITS THE GRILL! AJ screams in pain and is doubled over trying to cope with his burns. It isn't for long because Timmy sizes up and NAILS A 2ND SWEET CHIN MUSIC!*
C1: "SUPERSIZE THAT SWEET CHIN MUSIC! TIMMY TOOK AJ'S HEAD OFF WITH THAT ONE!"
C2: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
*Timmy covers, but the trainee can't crawl over as Andy has his foot. Timmy goes to free the trainee, but is blindsided by Bill! Bill clotheslines Timmy onto the grill! Timmy rolls off, but is in a lot of pain! Bill then picks Timmy up and nails a Bill Bomb onto the floor. Bill picks AJ up and slaps him back into reality. AJ gives Bill some instructions, and the monster runs off. AJ picks up Timmy and NAILS A 2ND PEDIGREE! Bill brings the trainee over as AJ covers.*
C2: "Tabor is out! It's over!"
C1: "Find a way, Timmy!"
*The trainee counts. ONE, TWO...THREE! Bill picks AJ up, and they celebrate! Andy wobbles over, and Luke reenters McDonald's "WOOOOOOOOing" and carrying the trophy. "Evolution" plays.*
C1: "You had to believe Timmy had the trophy won twice, if it wasn't for Evolution!"
C2: "I love it when a plan comes together!"
*Luke notices the time, and they all clock out leaving Timmy out on the floor. AJ rubs the trophy in Timmy's face before walking out.*
C1: "What a show! I wonder how the evening shift is."
*Blue light flashes over McDonald's as MTMT walks in with a tazor. Ripper, Chris Smith, and Chris O'Neal all follow.*
C2: "You had to ask."
((This is an alternate reality, sadly I swear I'm not on anything, this just came to me while in the bathroom. I've been laughing all day.
You need to know this:
Luke Harris - Ric Flair
Anthony Jordan - HHH
Andy Sheehy - Randy Orton
Bill - Batista
Timmy Tabor - Shawn Michaels
Most of this was based off the member profiles. Andy just fit the Orton size mold (and he works there, too!). Bill is the biggest, so obviously he is Batista. Luke is a bit too large for Flair, but I'm sure he works it well. Me, I am the Game.))
*Inside McDonald's, it is dark as it is early morning. Suddenly, sparks start falling from in front of the main double doors. The doors bust open and in walks Evolution. Luke Harris leads the way strutting like Ric Flair. He is wearing manager clothes under his bathrobe. He turns around and starts bowing down. Anthony Jordan walks in wearing sunglasses (despite it being dark) and a nice looking McDonald's uniform. He is carrying a trophy with a spatula on top which Luke points to and "WOOOOOOOs." In his other hand, AJ has an open bottle of water. With his arms out like Randy Orton, Andy Sheehy walks in and spins around. Finally, Bill walks in and pops his neck. AJ smiles and leads the group to the back. Behind the register, AJ turns around and takes a swig of water. He throws the bottle away and spits it into the air. Luke gets on the mic and addresses the empty restaurant.*
Luke: "SHUT UP! This is the greatest group going in the fast food industry. You got our enforcer. A mountain of muscle, BILL!"
*Bill steps up and grins. He flexes a bit and steps back.*
Luke: "My God, what a man! Next is the hottest young star in all of fast food! All the ladies need a little vitamin A. Go ahead, Andy, show 'em what you got!"
*Andy does the Randy Orton pose and spins around. He then smiles with his pearly whites.*
Luke: "Finally, it is the man. He is a nine-time Golden Spatula winner! He is 'The Man.' He's taken the ball from me and is a certifiable legend! WOOOOOOOOOOOO! By God, he is the very best at what he does, AJ!"
*AJ takes off his sunglasses and puts them in his pocket. He smiles and hands the trophy to Luke. AJ gets on the mic.*
AJ: "Like I say every work day, I am that damn good!"
*Evolution claps.*
AJ: "I've destroyed all restaurants in our way. Burger King, Wendys, and all the rest. They can have it your way, but here, it's AJ's way!"
*Evolution claps again as Luke "WOOOOOs" and looks like a bobblehead.*
AJ: "We're always ready for a day of work. Andy, get to the fryers! Bill, get to the grill! Luke, hit the coolers! Me, I'll be in the break room!"
*Evolution takes off to their tasks. Andy speaks to Bill.*
Andy: "Isn't Luke the manager?"
Bill: "Yeah, but he's insane. Ever since his restaurant closed and he came to McDonald's, he's been AJ's bitch."
*Luke struts up to the coolers and opens the door.*
Luke: "WOOOOOOOOOO! It's cold, but we need some patties!"
**Later on in the day.**
*After Bill stocks the buns, the buns man comes up with a clipboard to Luke.*
Buns man: "Sign this, sir!"
*Luke goes to sign it when AJ walks up.*
AJ: "Who do you think you are?"
Buns man: "I'm the buns man. I just need the manager to sign for the order."
AJ: "Think you're going to talk to me like that? I am the Golden Spatula Winner!"
*Luke "WOOOOOOOOs" and struts. AJ gives a cocky smirk to the buns man and signs the paper. He then drops the clipboard and knees the buns man in the gut. He turns around in pain only to be driven to the concrete with a vicious Spinebuster from Bill. AJ, Bill, and Andy start giving the buns man some boots to the head and chest while Luke applies the Figure Four and "WOOOOOOOOOOs". After a beat down, AJ picks up the clipboard and drops it on the buns man's chest. Evolution raises each other's hands as AJ yells.*
AJ: "DON'T MESS WITH EVOLUTION!"
**A day later.**
*A trainee walks up to Luke. Luke is rambling about Space Mountain to some female customers, but turns around.*
Trainee: "I'm here to work, sir."
Luke: "Who do you think you are?! You may have gotten a job at McDonald's, and that makes you great. You are not a legend, though! You're a virgin, and we're going to make you scream!"
*The trainee gulps and walks to the back where Evolution is waiting.*
**Two weeks later.**
*The buns man is back. He is sporting a crutch and his face is bandaged up. He comes up to the registers from the back looking for AJ. AJ walks over smirking. Luke is strutting behind the registers not taking any orders. The customers look pissed and ask themselves why they come here.*
AJ: "Some people never learn."
Buns man: "Please, I'm not here to fight. You are the Golden Spatula Winner. Just please sign this."
*AJ takes the clipboard and signs the papers while smiling. He grins and hands them back.*
AJ: "Who am I again, bitch?"
Buns man: "You are the Golden Spatula Winner."
*AJ smiles as Luke "WOOOOOOOOs."*
Buns man: "Until Timmy Tabor takes it away."
*AJ's smiles turns into a look of fear.*
Buns man: "You didn't sign buns order. You signed a contract to defend your title against Tabor. Right here, RIGHT NOW!"
*Luke is spazzing out and throws down his bathrobe and kicks it. AJ is screaming "NO." He doesn't have much time as Timmy Tabor, in a Burger King uniform, drives over the counter and starts pummeling AJ with punches. The trainee walks up and makes Luke go to the customer side of the registers. Luke protests, but leaves. The trainee tells Bill and Andy to keep their distances. The customers are going nuts and start a "Timmy" chant. Timmy lets up on his punches and takes Luke's bathrobe. He puts it around AJ's neck and starts to choke him. Luke stands up on the counter. The trainee can't get him down, but Timmy gets up and throws Luke his robe and pushes him off. Timmy is talking smack to Luke, so Luke picks up a ketchup container and throws it. Timmy ducks, and it hits the rising AJ. Ketchup is all over AJ!*
Customer 1: "Less than five minutes into this and AJ is sporting the crimson mask!"
Customer 2: "AJ is a 9-time champion. He'll come back!"
*A "Holy Shit" chant breaks out as Timmy grins evilly. Timmy climbs on to the counter. He then leaps off and delivers an elbow drop to the champion. He covers AJ. The trainee counts, but only gets a two. Luke is still spazzing out on the other side of the counter. Andy tries to run in, but the trainee stops him. With his back turned, Bill runs in and smacks Timmy in the face with the metal lettuce holder. Timmy is now bleeding! Luke claps and is under control.*
C1: "Underhanded tactic by Evolution!"
C2: "Why do you think they've kept the trophy this long?"
C1: "Timmy won't give up, and the rest of the costumers are solidly behind him!"
*AJ is up first and throws a Happy Meal off the brown tray. AJ winds up with the tray, but the trainee takes it way. While he is distracted, Luke throws AJ a Monopoly pin. AJ loads his fist and delivers a hard punch to Timmy's face. AJ puts the pin in his pocket and covers. The trainee counts. ONE, TWO, Timmy kicks out! The crowd cheers as AJ looks pissed. AJ picks Timmy up and whips him to the fryers. Timmy his the device hard. AJ runs in, but gets grease to the face as Timmy picked up a fry cooker and tosses. AJ is rolling around and screaming in pain! Timmy goes to the front of the registers and starts tuning up the band. Bill tries to interfere, but the trainee stops him. Andy comes in from the side and grabs Timmy's wrist. Spinning him around, Andy hits the ASKO (RKO)! He pulls AJ on top. Luke celebrates as the trainee makes the count. ONE, TWO, THR...TIMMY KICKS OUT!*
C1: "What heart by the challenger! Few men kick out of the ASKO!"
C2: "With a slow count like that, anyone could. C'mon, trainee!"
*With both men rising, Luke spears Timmy! The trainee has had enough and KICKS LUKE OUT OF MCDONALD'S! Luke is livid and is forcing the trainee to shove him out the door.*
C1: "About time!"
C2: "How unfair is this?"
*Timmy is up again and so is AJ. Out of nowhere, Timmy hits Sweet Chin Music! The customers are going nuts! He covers AJ, but the trainee is still busy with Luke! The trainee finally gets Luke out and runs over to make the count. ONE, TWO... Bill kicks the trainee and breaks the count. The crowd is booing loudly. With a hard Clothesline, the trainee is out. Bill picks Timmy up and stuffs him between his legs. Bill goes for the Bill Bomb, but Timmy jumps off! Bill turns around and BAM! SWEET CHIN MUSIC! Bill is out. Andy runs in looking for another ASKO, but Timmy shoves him off. Andy turns around and BAM! SWEET CHIN MUSIC!*
C1: "Luke's banned, and half of Evolution is out! Timmy's going to win!"
C2: "GET UP, AJ!"
*The roof is almost blowing off McDonald's, but a lot is out of Timmy and he collapses to all fours. Timmy finds the strength to get up and turn around only to receive a kick to the gut. AJ locks in the Pedigree to loud boos. AJ hits the Pedigree! He covers, but the trainee is still out! AJ wakes the trainee up and drags him over. He counts. ONE, TWO, THRE...TIMMY KICKS OUT!*
C2: "NOOOOOOO! AJ HAD IT WON!"
C1: "It's not over, yet!"
*AJ looks scared as he has no tricks left. He kicks the trainee, but turns his attention back to Timmy. AJ whips Timmy into the grill. AJ goes in for a Stinger Splash, but Timmy moves and AJ HITS THE GRILL! AJ screams in pain and is doubled over trying to cope with his burns. It isn't for long because Timmy sizes up and NAILS A 2ND SWEET CHIN MUSIC!*
C1: "SUPERSIZE THAT SWEET CHIN MUSIC! TIMMY TOOK AJ'S HEAD OFF WITH THAT ONE!"
C2: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
*Timmy covers, but the trainee can't crawl over as Andy has his foot. Timmy goes to free the trainee, but is blindsided by Bill! Bill clotheslines Timmy onto the grill! Timmy rolls off, but is in a lot of pain! Bill then picks Timmy up and nails a Bill Bomb onto the floor. Bill picks AJ up and slaps him back into reality. AJ gives Bill some instructions, and the monster runs off. AJ picks up Timmy and NAILS A 2ND PEDIGREE! Bill brings the trainee over as AJ covers.*
C2: "Tabor is out! It's over!"
C1: "Find a way, Timmy!"
*The trainee counts. ONE, TWO...THREE! Bill picks AJ up, and they celebrate! Andy wobbles over, and Luke reenters McDonald's "WOOOOOOOOing" and carrying the trophy. "Evolution" plays.*
C1: "You had to believe Timmy had the trophy won twice, if it wasn't for Evolution!"
C2: "I love it when a plan comes together!"
*Luke notices the time, and they all clock out leaving Timmy out on the floor. AJ rubs the trophy in Timmy's face before walking out.*
C1: "What a show! I wonder how the evening shift is."
*Blue light flashes over McDonald's as MTMT walks in with a tazor. Ripper, Chris Smith, and Chris O'Neal all follow.*
C2: "You had to ask."
