Post by "The Aussie Icon" Croc on Jan 28, 2011 3:58:55 GMT -4
(The scene opens up in a graveyard at night. There is hardly any light, with only the dim light from the moon reflecting off the headstones of the various graves. There is a thick fog around which adds to the creepy mood. In the distance a blast of pure light blinds the camera and as the camera refocuses, a solo horse can be seen coming towards the camera. On top of the horse is what appears to be a knight. The knight is decked out in shiny, silver armour and the sound of clanking metal becomes louder. The knight rides up to the camera and stops his horse)
(KNIGHT)
At AWA Resolution, I will be the AWA’s saviour!
(The knight lifts off his helmet and it is revealed the knight is Croc)
(CROC)
I will save the AWA from certain death by becoming your champion.
(Croc slowly gets off of his horse. As he stands on the ground, he looks at the camera)
(CROC)
Tune into AWA Resolution this Sunday and watch history be made as I become the AWA Champion!
(Croc shows the camera his trademark smirk/point combo as the screen fades to black and shows details of the pay per view. The camera cuts back live and shows Croc live on set)
(CROC)
For f**k sakes, did we really have to do this in an actual graveyard?
(DIRECTOR)
For the hundredth time Croc... YES WE DID!
(CROC)
Have you not heard of using a green screen?
(DIRECTOR)
How could I have had you riding in from a distance using a green screen?
(CROC)
Animation. Haven’t you seen Shrek?
(The director goes to rebut but Croc just walks off.)
(CROC)
F**k armour sucks.
(Croc is stopped in his tracks. The camera moves and shows Ripper in front of Croc. Ripper is dumbfounded)
(RIPPER)
Only one word pops into my head right now.
(CROC)
I would be very quiet if I was you... I am not in the mood.
(RIPPER)
I just want to know why?
(CROC)
Why do you think? I get told I am doing some promos for the pay per view and find out this hack of a director wants to film it live on location in some graveyard. What does he think this is? An scene from Twilight?
(RIPPER)
I am pretty sure there were no Knights in Twilight
(CROC)
Which one is Twilight?
(RIPPER)
You know the movie... Vampires trying to have sex with a goth chick
(CROC)
Oh... Well what is the movie with Heath Ledger?
(RIPPER)
A Knights Tale?
(CROC)
No... The one with the make up where he plays a crazy dude?
(RIPPER)
Batman?
(CROC)
Yeah!
(RIPPER)
That doesn’t make sense.
(CROC)
Yes it does! I am like Batman in my suit of armour... Heath Ledger was like Batman
(RIPPER)
He played the joker you idiot
(CROC)
Whatever... I am out of here to get this stupid suit off.
(RIPPER)
Don’t you have a match coming up like this weekend?
(CROC)
Yeah but it is only against hacks... It would be like if I ever had a match with you... I don’t need to prepare, I just need to turn up and I am going to win.
(RIPPER)
Really?
(CROC)
Face it Ripper... As soon as a Championship Belt came near ringside during you match, you choked quicker than Crazy Bill on his tenth hamburger.
(Both Croc and Ripper laugh at the thought of Crazy Bill choking)
(CROC)
Ahhh... I wish that guy was dead!
(RIPPER)
They would have to dig a 12 foot grave just to fit him in.
(CROC)
If they cremated him, the amount of ash would send people running thinking a volcano just erupted.
(Croc and Ripper laugh. Ripper than trips Croc over causing Croc to land on his back. Croc tries to get up but due to the armour suit is unable to roll over)
(CROC)
Oi... Little help
(Croc reaches out for Ripper to help him up)
(RIPPER)
See ya Croc
(Ripper walks off laughing. Croc tries in vain to get to his feet)
(CROC)
Not funny Ripper... Help me up you English bastard! I feel like a god damn turtle here!
(Scene fades to black with Croc still attempting to get to his feet)
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