Post by Anthony Jordan on Jul 7, 2009 7:27:42 GMT -4
Song parodied:
*The scene opens up with Anthony Jordan and Ripper walking into the Connection's locker room. Still trying to lift Ripper's spirits, Jordan delivers the punchline of a joke.*
Jordan: "Orange you glad I did not say banana!"
*"The Role Model" laughs and slaps his knee.*
Jordan: "Oh, Anthony, you are the king of wit."
Ripper: "I'm kicking you in the groin later."
Jordan: "But I am trying to make you feel better!"
Ripper: "That will make me feel better."
*Jordan worries about the future of his testes as they walk into the room and find MJ Windsor on his laptop. Hearing them come in, Windsor motions for them.*
MJ: "Hey, guys, would you mind explaining to me what I just watched?"
*Jordan rushes over and covers MJ's eyes.*
Jordan: "They are not going to do what you think with that cup! Turn away, MJ!"
*MJ swats Jordan away.*
MJ: "Not that. This."
*He rewinds the clip. It shows former members of USCW in a recording studio. Scorpion sits behind the drums. Ripper is tuning a bass guitar. Whitey Ford stands behind a microphone and clears his throat. Anthony Jordan strums his guitar for a bit. All four nod to each other, then signal the booth to start recording. The members playing instruments lay down a metal beat as Whitey Ford starts feeling it.*
Whitey: "Alright! Yeah! C-c-come on!"
*The band rocks out as Whitey launches into the song.*
Whitey: "Fuck those in the EWCW Hall,
they can suck my balls.
They look like the dogs
that hang out at the mall
Kris Chambers can suck it, so can Dawg, J.
They can suck each other just because they're gay
They can suck a dick, they can lick a sack
Everybody shout, 'USCW's back!'"
*Whitey takes the microphone off the stand and walks up to Jordan. Both yell the chorus into the microphone.*
Whitey and Jordan: "Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW!"
*Whitey goes back to his original spot to sing the next verse.*
Whitey: "Death to Frank Britain, Timmy Draven, too!
All those unoriginal owners should be booed!
Wearing fancy suits, slickin' back their hair,
They're not worth the crust on my underwear!"
*Whitey turns around and points to the band.*
Whitey: "Where is Psycho Luchador? Anyone seen Justin Voss, too?
Why do all my lyrics sound like Dr. Seuss?"
*Whitey walks up Ripper, and they sing the chorus.*
Whitey and Ripper: "Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW!"
*Whitey returns to his mic stand.*
Whitey: "Kills those fucking fuckheads who program Channel 69.
They can suck my ass...by the way, where is fuck is Shawn Hines?"
*Whitey looks around as the rest of the band just shrugs. Whitey gives up and goes back to singing.*
Whitey: "Death to Kelly Nash, kill the little slut.
Kill Helena Perez, too, and then fuck her in the butt.
Fuck the Aussie Icon, and Reese, the male ho.
They can kiss each other on the camel toe.
NJD and MJW are the very best,
At shooting hot sperm on each others' cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest!"
*Whitey holds up the microphone as the rest of the band screams.*
Band: "Death to all but USCW!
Death to all but USCW!
Death to all but USCW!"
*The band plays out as MJ turns to Jordan, who looks white as a ghost.*
Jordan: "Uhhh...that was years ago. Way before the Connection!"
*As the video plays, it gives the copyright date of 2009. Jordan curses his luck as MJ just glares at him.*
Jordan: "They goaded me into playing. I had nothing to do with the lyrics. I would not write that kind of filth."
*As the credits roll, Anthony Jordan is credited as the song writer. Jordan turns to Ripper.*
Ripper: "It's funnier this way."
*Jordan turns back to Windsor.*
Jordan: "I can explain this in three seconds, buddy. One, two, thr...Ripper explain it!"
*Jordan runs out of the room leaving Ripper dumbfounded.*
Ripper: "That's so something I would have done."
((Rushed because I have to go to work, but I wanted to put it up.))
*The scene opens up with Anthony Jordan and Ripper walking into the Connection's locker room. Still trying to lift Ripper's spirits, Jordan delivers the punchline of a joke.*
Jordan: "Orange you glad I did not say banana!"
*"The Role Model" laughs and slaps his knee.*
Jordan: "Oh, Anthony, you are the king of wit."
Ripper: "I'm kicking you in the groin later."
Jordan: "But I am trying to make you feel better!"
Ripper: "That will make me feel better."
*Jordan worries about the future of his testes as they walk into the room and find MJ Windsor on his laptop. Hearing them come in, Windsor motions for them.*
MJ: "Hey, guys, would you mind explaining to me what I just watched?"
*Jordan rushes over and covers MJ's eyes.*
Jordan: "They are not going to do what you think with that cup! Turn away, MJ!"
*MJ swats Jordan away.*
MJ: "Not that. This."
*He rewinds the clip. It shows former members of USCW in a recording studio. Scorpion sits behind the drums. Ripper is tuning a bass guitar. Whitey Ford stands behind a microphone and clears his throat. Anthony Jordan strums his guitar for a bit. All four nod to each other, then signal the booth to start recording. The members playing instruments lay down a metal beat as Whitey Ford starts feeling it.*
Whitey: "Alright! Yeah! C-c-come on!"
*The band rocks out as Whitey launches into the song.*
Whitey: "Fuck those in the EWCW Hall,
they can suck my balls.
They look like the dogs
that hang out at the mall
Kris Chambers can suck it, so can Dawg, J.
They can suck each other just because they're gay
They can suck a dick, they can lick a sack
Everybody shout, 'USCW's back!'"
*Whitey takes the microphone off the stand and walks up to Jordan. Both yell the chorus into the microphone.*
Whitey and Jordan: "Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW!"
*Whitey goes back to his original spot to sing the next verse.*
Whitey: "Death to Frank Britain, Timmy Draven, too!
All those unoriginal owners should be booed!
Wearing fancy suits, slickin' back their hair,
They're not worth the crust on my underwear!"
*Whitey turns around and points to the band.*
Whitey: "Where is Psycho Luchador? Anyone seen Justin Voss, too?
Why do all my lyrics sound like Dr. Seuss?"
*Whitey walks up Ripper, and they sing the chorus.*
Whitey and Ripper: "Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW.
Death to all but USCW!"
*Whitey returns to his mic stand.*
Whitey: "Kills those fucking fuckheads who program Channel 69.
They can suck my ass...by the way, where is fuck is Shawn Hines?"
*Whitey looks around as the rest of the band just shrugs. Whitey gives up and goes back to singing.*
Whitey: "Death to Kelly Nash, kill the little slut.
Kill Helena Perez, too, and then fuck her in the butt.
Fuck the Aussie Icon, and Reese, the male ho.
They can kiss each other on the camel toe.
NJD and MJW are the very best,
At shooting hot sperm on each others' cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest!"
*Whitey holds up the microphone as the rest of the band screams.*
Band: "Death to all but USCW!
Death to all but USCW!
Death to all but USCW!"
*The band plays out as MJ turns to Jordan, who looks white as a ghost.*
Jordan: "Uhhh...that was years ago. Way before the Connection!"
*As the video plays, it gives the copyright date of 2009. Jordan curses his luck as MJ just glares at him.*
Jordan: "They goaded me into playing. I had nothing to do with the lyrics. I would not write that kind of filth."
*As the credits roll, Anthony Jordan is credited as the song writer. Jordan turns to Ripper.*
Ripper: "It's funnier this way."
*Jordan turns back to Windsor.*
Jordan: "I can explain this in three seconds, buddy. One, two, thr...Ripper explain it!"
*Jordan runs out of the room leaving Ripper dumbfounded.*
Ripper: "That's so something I would have done."
((Rushed because I have to go to work, but I wanted to put it up.))
