Post by Anthony Jordan on Jul 22, 2009 10:27:55 GMT -4
*The scene opens up with the co-Undisputed World Champion and Chantelle sitting on the couch inside the Connection's locker room. The television is alive as the glow reflects off their faces. After a few seconds, "The Role Model" gets up.*
Jordan: "And after thirteen seconds, The Hills has made me do something I have never done and that is tap out. Done."
*Jordan shakes his head and walks to the refrigerator where he pulls out a bottle of water and unscrews the top. As he takes a drink and tosses the top, Chantelle turns around.*
Chantelle: "I really thought someone like you would like this show."
*Jordan returns to the couch. He holds up the bottle to block the painful images on the television screen.*
Jordan: "'Someone like me?' Please elaborate. I have to know what you mean."
*Chantelle looks down and inhales.*
Chantelle: "Well, sweetie, you're fashionable and pop...and a bit metro."
*Jordan gets defensive.*
Jordan: "There is nothing wrong with that! Just because a man wants to be his most beautiful does not make him gay. MJ and I made a press release about that. We are hot, and we show it off."
Chantelle: "Yeah...but that kind of gives off a vibe that leads the rest of us to assume certain things."
*Knowing exactly the reply this will garner, Chantelle mocks it.*
Jordan and Chantelle: "I am not gay."
*A bit perturbed at this, Jordan pays no attention to what Chantelle does next.*
Chantelle: "Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten, JINX!"
*She starts laughing as Jordan rolls his eyes. He goes to talk, but Chantelle pounces on him and covers his mouth.*
Chantelle: "No, no, baby. Someone's got to say your name."
*Jordan just shrugs as he could care less about the game.*
Chantelle: "If not, someone gets to punch you."
*"The Role Model" laughs as a punch from Chantelle isn't scary.*
Chantelle: "Play along or I'll tell 'you know who' about you being jinxed."
*That threat is enough to make Jordan resign himself to playing this childish game. He acknowledges Chantelle with a nod. She smiles, then reaches around his back and pulls out his wallet. Shocked at her degree of skill, Jordan just stands there with his eyes wide as Chantelle pulls out some money and tosses the billfold on Jordan's lap. She leans over and kisses him before standing up to walk to the door.*
Chantelle: "Ta, honey. I'm off to buy, what'd you call it? That 'slultty' outfit. MJ would probably appreciate it as it barely covers my firm tits and tight ass."
*Chantelle rubs the corresponding parts of her body as Jordan just glares at her presumably for the MJ reference and language.*
Chantelle: "Of course, if you don't want me to, all you have to do is say, 'no.'"
Jordan: "MRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
*Refusing to break the jinx (likely out of fear), Jordan can only make noise. Chantelle smiles.*
Chantelle: "Thanks, you're the best!"
*She leaves as Jordan angrily stands up and flips over the couch. He stalks out of the room to find someone to break his jinx. Oddly enough, it must not be an eventful day in the AWA as the halls are empty. After opening several doors, Jordan accepts that he will have to take his adventure outside. He reaches the entrance and opens the door. He is greeted by the sight of Ripper holding a paintball rifle and Scorpion holding a paintball handgun. Both are facing away from the door as Scorpion pulls a string. A CD flies through the air. Both men fire and miss it. Scorpion growls and tosses his gun after it.*
Ripper: "Why'd you do that?"
Scorpion: "It looks cool. Like in the movies."
Ripper: "It still had ammo. Go get it while I pick another CD."
*Now aware of what is going on, Jordan still takes the risk of approaching an armed Ripper. As he gets closer, he sees the box of CDs marked "Property of Anthony Jordan." Jordan growls as he marches up to Ripper and shoves him. Not even noticing Jordan arriving, Ripper looks at Jordan and shakes his head.*
Ripper: "Where'd you come from?"
Jordan: "MRMRMRMRRMMMMMMMM!"
*Ripper shrugs as he doesn't care.*
Ripper: "Fuck off, donut."
*The camera view changes to show a man in a donut costume look down and rejected as he turns and walks away. Ripper then looks at Jordan.*
Ripper: "Were you stalking us, arsehole?"
*Hearing the last bit as he jogs up, Scorpion raises an eyebrow, then turns away.*
Scorpion: "It's industrial espionage! You've come to steal our brilliant ideas!"
*Scorpion turns around and points at Jordan.*
Scorpion: "You've been foiled for we have none!"
*The co-Undisputed World Champion just rolls his eyes.*
Jordan: "MMMMMMMMMM!"
Ripper: "What are you on about? Christ, 'Role Model,' inform us of what troubles you."
Scorpion: "Yeah, former, but kind of still not former, boss, what do you want?"
*Knowing this will go nowhere, Jordan pulls a pen out of his pocket and writes "Say my name" on the box.*
Ripper: "Say your name? Why would I do that, my ally?"
*Jordan growls at the ineptness of Ripper.*
Scorpion: "I get it!"
*Both men turn to Scorpion.*
Scorpion: "He wants us to play that Destiny's Child song. 'Say my name, say my name, say my name. When no one is around you, say 'baby, I love you''...."
*Scorpion sings on as Ripper points his rifle as his assistant. He finally understands what he is doing, and his free hand grabs his loaded hand by the wrist and stats to pull it away.*
Ripper: "Must...not....give...in...to...Satan...make...it...up...to...him...later!"
*Ripper looks at Jordan.*
Ripper: "I don't judge you as harshly for being as mean to him as you were."
Jordan: "Would you quit this stupidity and just say my name! I am jinxed!"
*Ripper looks apathetically at Jordan.*
Ripper: "You were just jinxed. What idiot actually plays along with it?"
*Jordan exhales as he had nothing to fear.*
Jordan: "Good. Did you see where Chantelle went?"
*Absent-mindedly, Ripper points past Jordan.*
Ripper: "If you stand on that 'X,' you can see her in the shop she stopped in."
Jordan: "Thanks, man."
Ripper: "No problem."
*Jordan walks over to the 'X' and looks for a second, then immediately looks down.*
Jordan: "How would it be any different here? The line of sight..."
*Jordan goes silent as he realizes what he just did. He spins around and points at Ripper.*
Jordan: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
*His pleas of mercy are too late as Ripper pulls a string. A catapult that no one ever noticed throws Jordan off-screen as Ripper blocks the sun with his free hand and gives an approving smirk.*
Ripper: "Told you it was ready."
*Scorpion nods in agreement as a taxi pulls up behind them. Ripper and Scorpion turn around to see Jordan, without a scratch, get out. He marches up to Ripper. Shocked at the impossibility of this, Ripper can only let his jaw hang.*
Jordan: "What was the meaning of that?!"
Ripper: "But...how? That's more improbable than what I did..."
*Ripper looks down defeated, then reluctantly sticks out his hand.*
Ripper: "Well played."
*Jordan shakes Ripper's hand, but goes back to business.*
Jordan: "Now why did you do that?"
*Not ready to resume business, Ripper replies.*
Ripper: "You'll never be able to do that again."
Jordan: "Probably not, but I did manage to get that helicopter and rope ladder before, so you never know. Anyway, why did you do that?"
Ripper: "Want to try again? You know, just to see if you can?"
*Jordan holds out his arms and brings them back in as he points them at Ripper.*
Jordan: "Right here, Greg. Focus."
*Ripper nods as he seems mesmerized by Jordan's arms.*
Jordan: "Why did you fling me with a catapult?"
Ripper: "Because you broke your jinx."
*Jordan tilts his head to the side at Ripper interpretation of the rules.*
Jordan: "That is not what you do. You punch the guy or he owes you a Coke."
*Wasting no time, Ripper punches Jordan square in the chest. Not ready for it, Jordan falls back, but quickly scrambles up as he rubs his chest.*
Jordan: "That hurt more than the catapult."
Ripper: "Do I have a new catchphrase?"
Jordan: "Greg, back to our thing here."
*Jordan motions at himself.*
Jordan: "Okay, ha ha, you got me. We are even."
Ripper: "No, we're not. Where's my Coke?"
Jordan: "You punched me, so that makes us square."
Ripper: "That wasn't a 'jinx' punch. That was a 'notification' punch to make you aware that you owe me a Coke."
Jordan: "You cannot label a pun..."
*Jordan trails off as Ripper points the paintball rifle in his face.*
Jordan: "Comment withdrawn."
*Ripper lowers the rifle. Jordan shakes his head and starts walking away. Scorpion then rushes up to Ripper with his handgun drawn and shoots Jordan square in the ass.*
Jordan and Scorpion: "OW!"
Scorpion: "Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten, JINX!"
Jordan: "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Jordan: "And after thirteen seconds, The Hills has made me do something I have never done and that is tap out. Done."
*Jordan shakes his head and walks to the refrigerator where he pulls out a bottle of water and unscrews the top. As he takes a drink and tosses the top, Chantelle turns around.*
Chantelle: "I really thought someone like you would like this show."
*Jordan returns to the couch. He holds up the bottle to block the painful images on the television screen.*
Jordan: "'Someone like me?' Please elaborate. I have to know what you mean."
*Chantelle looks down and inhales.*
Chantelle: "Well, sweetie, you're fashionable and pop...and a bit metro."
*Jordan gets defensive.*
Jordan: "There is nothing wrong with that! Just because a man wants to be his most beautiful does not make him gay. MJ and I made a press release about that. We are hot, and we show it off."
Chantelle: "Yeah...but that kind of gives off a vibe that leads the rest of us to assume certain things."
*Knowing exactly the reply this will garner, Chantelle mocks it.*
Jordan and Chantelle: "I am not gay."
*A bit perturbed at this, Jordan pays no attention to what Chantelle does next.*
Chantelle: "Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten, JINX!"
*She starts laughing as Jordan rolls his eyes. He goes to talk, but Chantelle pounces on him and covers his mouth.*
Chantelle: "No, no, baby. Someone's got to say your name."
*Jordan just shrugs as he could care less about the game.*
Chantelle: "If not, someone gets to punch you."
*"The Role Model" laughs as a punch from Chantelle isn't scary.*
Chantelle: "Play along or I'll tell 'you know who' about you being jinxed."
*That threat is enough to make Jordan resign himself to playing this childish game. He acknowledges Chantelle with a nod. She smiles, then reaches around his back and pulls out his wallet. Shocked at her degree of skill, Jordan just stands there with his eyes wide as Chantelle pulls out some money and tosses the billfold on Jordan's lap. She leans over and kisses him before standing up to walk to the door.*
Chantelle: "Ta, honey. I'm off to buy, what'd you call it? That 'slultty' outfit. MJ would probably appreciate it as it barely covers my firm tits and tight ass."
*Chantelle rubs the corresponding parts of her body as Jordan just glares at her presumably for the MJ reference and language.*
Chantelle: "Of course, if you don't want me to, all you have to do is say, 'no.'"
Jordan: "MRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
*Refusing to break the jinx (likely out of fear), Jordan can only make noise. Chantelle smiles.*
Chantelle: "Thanks, you're the best!"
*She leaves as Jordan angrily stands up and flips over the couch. He stalks out of the room to find someone to break his jinx. Oddly enough, it must not be an eventful day in the AWA as the halls are empty. After opening several doors, Jordan accepts that he will have to take his adventure outside. He reaches the entrance and opens the door. He is greeted by the sight of Ripper holding a paintball rifle and Scorpion holding a paintball handgun. Both are facing away from the door as Scorpion pulls a string. A CD flies through the air. Both men fire and miss it. Scorpion growls and tosses his gun after it.*
Ripper: "Why'd you do that?"
Scorpion: "It looks cool. Like in the movies."
Ripper: "It still had ammo. Go get it while I pick another CD."
*Now aware of what is going on, Jordan still takes the risk of approaching an armed Ripper. As he gets closer, he sees the box of CDs marked "Property of Anthony Jordan." Jordan growls as he marches up to Ripper and shoves him. Not even noticing Jordan arriving, Ripper looks at Jordan and shakes his head.*
Ripper: "Where'd you come from?"
Jordan: "MRMRMRMRRMMMMMMMM!"
*Ripper shrugs as he doesn't care.*
Ripper: "Fuck off, donut."
*The camera view changes to show a man in a donut costume look down and rejected as he turns and walks away. Ripper then looks at Jordan.*
Ripper: "Were you stalking us, arsehole?"
*Hearing the last bit as he jogs up, Scorpion raises an eyebrow, then turns away.*
Scorpion: "It's industrial espionage! You've come to steal our brilliant ideas!"
*Scorpion turns around and points at Jordan.*
Scorpion: "You've been foiled for we have none!"
*The co-Undisputed World Champion just rolls his eyes.*
Jordan: "MMMMMMMMMM!"
Ripper: "What are you on about? Christ, 'Role Model,' inform us of what troubles you."
Scorpion: "Yeah, former, but kind of still not former, boss, what do you want?"
*Knowing this will go nowhere, Jordan pulls a pen out of his pocket and writes "Say my name" on the box.*
Ripper: "Say your name? Why would I do that, my ally?"
*Jordan growls at the ineptness of Ripper.*
Scorpion: "I get it!"
*Both men turn to Scorpion.*
Scorpion: "He wants us to play that Destiny's Child song. 'Say my name, say my name, say my name. When no one is around you, say 'baby, I love you''...."
*Scorpion sings on as Ripper points his rifle as his assistant. He finally understands what he is doing, and his free hand grabs his loaded hand by the wrist and stats to pull it away.*
Ripper: "Must...not....give...in...to...Satan...make...it...up...to...him...later!"
*Ripper looks at Jordan.*
Ripper: "I don't judge you as harshly for being as mean to him as you were."
Jordan: "Would you quit this stupidity and just say my name! I am jinxed!"
*Ripper looks apathetically at Jordan.*
Ripper: "You were just jinxed. What idiot actually plays along with it?"
*Jordan exhales as he had nothing to fear.*
Jordan: "Good. Did you see where Chantelle went?"
*Absent-mindedly, Ripper points past Jordan.*
Ripper: "If you stand on that 'X,' you can see her in the shop she stopped in."
Jordan: "Thanks, man."
Ripper: "No problem."
*Jordan walks over to the 'X' and looks for a second, then immediately looks down.*
Jordan: "How would it be any different here? The line of sight..."
*Jordan goes silent as he realizes what he just did. He spins around and points at Ripper.*
Jordan: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
*His pleas of mercy are too late as Ripper pulls a string. A catapult that no one ever noticed throws Jordan off-screen as Ripper blocks the sun with his free hand and gives an approving smirk.*
Ripper: "Told you it was ready."
*Scorpion nods in agreement as a taxi pulls up behind them. Ripper and Scorpion turn around to see Jordan, without a scratch, get out. He marches up to Ripper. Shocked at the impossibility of this, Ripper can only let his jaw hang.*
Jordan: "What was the meaning of that?!"
Ripper: "But...how? That's more improbable than what I did..."
*Ripper looks down defeated, then reluctantly sticks out his hand.*
Ripper: "Well played."
*Jordan shakes Ripper's hand, but goes back to business.*
Jordan: "Now why did you do that?"
*Not ready to resume business, Ripper replies.*
Ripper: "You'll never be able to do that again."
Jordan: "Probably not, but I did manage to get that helicopter and rope ladder before, so you never know. Anyway, why did you do that?"
Ripper: "Want to try again? You know, just to see if you can?"
*Jordan holds out his arms and brings them back in as he points them at Ripper.*
Jordan: "Right here, Greg. Focus."
*Ripper nods as he seems mesmerized by Jordan's arms.*
Jordan: "Why did you fling me with a catapult?"
Ripper: "Because you broke your jinx."
*Jordan tilts his head to the side at Ripper interpretation of the rules.*
Jordan: "That is not what you do. You punch the guy or he owes you a Coke."
*Wasting no time, Ripper punches Jordan square in the chest. Not ready for it, Jordan falls back, but quickly scrambles up as he rubs his chest.*
Jordan: "That hurt more than the catapult."
Ripper: "Do I have a new catchphrase?"
Jordan: "Greg, back to our thing here."
*Jordan motions at himself.*
Jordan: "Okay, ha ha, you got me. We are even."
Ripper: "No, we're not. Where's my Coke?"
Jordan: "You punched me, so that makes us square."
Ripper: "That wasn't a 'jinx' punch. That was a 'notification' punch to make you aware that you owe me a Coke."
Jordan: "You cannot label a pun..."
*Jordan trails off as Ripper points the paintball rifle in his face.*
Jordan: "Comment withdrawn."
*Ripper lowers the rifle. Jordan shakes his head and starts walking away. Scorpion then rushes up to Ripper with his handgun drawn and shoots Jordan square in the ass.*
Jordan and Scorpion: "OW!"
Scorpion: "Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten, JINX!"
Jordan: "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
