Post by Anthony Jordan on Jul 22, 2009 18:12:56 GMT -4
*The scene opens with Ripper knocking on the Connection's door. The co-Undisputed World Champion opens it and sees Ripper and his assistant, Scorpion.*
Jordan: "I will not donate to your fake charity, anymore."
*Ripper snaps his fingers.*
Ripper: "Damn."
*"The Virus" goes to leave, then spins around.*
Ripper: "NO oh oh oh oh oh..."
*Jordan raises an eyebrow.*
Jordan: "You love making the echo noise too much."
*Jordan crosses his arms.*
Jordan: "Now besides showcasing higher than normal levels of stupidity, what do you want?"
*Ripper picks up Scorpion from off-screen and sets him down in front of Jordan.*
Ripper: "You get him back for the day. I have business to conduct."
*Scorpion tries to enter the locker room, but Jordan shoves him back out.*
Jordan: "One, thanks for notifying me in a timely manner. Two, I am with Chantelle, so I cannot babysit. Besides, Scorpion did fine by himself when I was his primary employer."
Scorpion: "You never paid me. You gave me seashells."
Jordan: "Hush up! The natives would kill to have those."
*Scorpion looks down.*
Jordan: "Greg, just let the boy free in a pasture. He will roam around, graze on various grasses and moo at passing cars."
Ripper: "You're thinking of a cow."
*Jordan sighs and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a picture of a cow. Scorpion perks up at the sight.*
Scorpion: "MOO!"
*Jordan crumbles the picture up and tosses it down.*
Ripper: "Learn something new every day. Anyway, I am going to talk to Hasbro about their G.I. Joe with karate chop action is far too weak."
*Ripper holds up an action figure. He lets it chop Jordan in the forehead.*
Ripper: "See? That should have easily blunted your skull!"
Jordan: "Worthy endeavor."
Ripper: "Right? But it is something I must do on my own."
Jordan: "I still vote for the cow plan."
*Ripper holds up his arms to "The Role Model."*
Ripper: "Fine, AJ. Give me one three-second presentation to change your mind. If you still feel how you do, then I'll drop this. Deal?"
*Jordan stands back and relaxes signaling Ripper to let it...err...rip. Ripper nods and steps back. In the blink of an eye, he picks Scorpion up and hurls him into Jordan like a lawn dart.*
Scorpion: "WEEEEEEEE!"
*The co-Undisputed World Champion and Scorpion spill into the room as Ripper runs off. Chantelle jumps up in shock and rushes over to Jordan and helps him up as Scorpion stands back up.*
Scorpion: "AGAIN!"
*Jordan groans and ignores Scorpion.*
Jordan: "Sorry for this, baby. Ripper is almost more of a hassle as an ally than as a foe."
Chantelle: "It's okay."
*Scorpion notices the couple and sniffs.*
Scorpion: "Look at you two. So in love and happy."
Jordan: "Scorpion, quit it."
Chantelle: "Yeah, I wouldn't say we're in love."
*Jordan snaps his head to Chantelle and glares at her. She gives an "Oops, sorry" shrug.*
Jordan: "You would not talk to her. That is your own fault!"
Scorpion: "It's hard!"
Jordan: "Yeah, doing what you have been doing for the past five minutes is incredibly difficult."
*Scorpion falls into the fetal position and starts rocking back and forth.*
Chantelle: "Real nice."
*Chantelle starts to walk out of the room.*
Jordan: "Wow, if we were in love, I would be trying to stop you right now."
*Chantelle flips Jordan off and walks out of the room. Jordan angrily looks down at Scorpion.*
Jordan: "You are jealous of me for this?! You want this? You know, I am going to help you with Monica."
*Scorpion breaks the fetal position and cautiously rises.*
Scorpion: "Really?"
Jordan: "Yes. It will be appropriate revenge when you get her and discover that a girlfriend cures absolutely nothing and actually makes your life harder and less rewarding."
Scorpion: "Awww, thanks."
*Scorpion goes for a hug, but Jordan shoves him away.*
Jordan: "Now, since I know you stalk her, where is she now?"
Scorpion: "I don't stalk her! I just happen to know she is in the catering room because she generally takes lunch between 11:37 AM and 1:13 PM in a survey based on her times over the past three weeks."
Jordan: "Great. Walk with me."
*Jordan walks out of the room, and Scorpion follows him.*
Jordan: "Tell me what you know about her. What does she like?"
Scorpion: "Searches via the Internet and her personal belongings tell me that she loves cats."
Jordan: "Sweet. We will play the cute animal angle."
*Jordan stops at a closet. He opens the door, reaches in, and pulls out a black kitten.*
Scorpion: "Why are kittens in the closet?"
Jordan: "Because we do not have enough time to search for them."
*Jordan motions to the camera as he hands Scorpion the kitten, and they walk up to the catering room.*
Jordan: "Now walk in there with baby ice-breaker there, and you will be talking with her. It will probably draw her to you."
Scorpion: "That's pretty smart!"
Jordan: "I know. Now, have at it!"
*"The Role Model" shoves Scorpion into the room. Scorpion nervously walks around until he gets close to the brunette of his dreams. Scorpion can't speak, but doesn't have to as Monica turns and sees the kitten.*
Monica: "Awww! How cute!"
*She stands up and pets the kitten.*
Monica: "Bringing your pet to lunch?"
Scorpion: "The ambient temperature is 75 degrees!"
*Monica looks confused as Scorpion can barely stand.*
Monica: "Want me to look after the little guy while you get something to eat?"
Scorpion: "Yes, eat."
*Scorpion lifts the cat up to his mouth and opens wide. Seeing his assistant about to crash and burn, Jordan runs and slides next to Scorpion. He lowers Scorpion's arms.*
Jordan: "I do not think mouth-to-mouth is necessary, anymore."
*Jordan turns to Monica.*
Jordan: "He saved this little guy from drowning and has really focused on protecting him."
Monica: "That is so sweet!"
Jordan: "That is why he seems so flaky right now."
Scorpion: "Frosted Flakes...they're grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"
*Jordan shakes his head, but plays the nice guy with Monica there.*
Jordan: "They sure are, buddy."
*Jordan turns to Monica.*
Jordan: "You do not happen to know anything about caring for cats, do you?"
Monica: "Are you kidding? I have two cats that I have raised since their mom abandoned."
Jordan: "That is adorable, but I do not care to hear the story."
*Jordan clasps his hands while acting nice.*
Jordan: "Anyway, could you take some time to help Scorpion later? He has never had a pet before, and, as you can tell, is really lost."
Monica: "I'd love to!"
Jordan: "Know where the Connection's locker room is?"
Monica: "Who doesn't?"
*Jordan gives his goofy grin upon hearing that.*
Jordan: "How about you stop by after your shift is over at..."
*Jordan trails off as he wants her to finish it.*
Monica and Scorpion: "Five."
*Jordan's jaw almost drops off at Scorpions' stupidity and desperately tries to defuse the situation as he puts on his act again.*
Jordan: "Always five o'clock somewhere!"
Monica: "That is so true!"
*They laugh, and Scorpion nervously joins in.*
Monica: "See you then!"
*Jordan nods and puts his arm around Scorpion to lead him away. When they reach the hall, he shoves Scorpion.*
Jordan: "Way to almost blow it, stupid!"
Scorpion: "I was nervous!"
Jordan: "Consuming a domestic pet raw is NEVER a good idea in the company of anyone!"
Scorpion: "I choked!"
Jordan: "You have been hanging around Ripper."
*Jordan laughs at his joke as the scene cuts to Ripper driving. Ripper grabs his head.*
Ripper: "I have this desire to punch AJ in the face for some reason."
*Back to the arena, Jordan waves to Scorpion and walks away.*
Jordan: "You got a date...somehow. Good luck. I would not recommend taking her to dinner."
*Jordan chuckles as Scorpion rushes after him.*
Scorpion: "You got to be my wingman again! I can't do this on my own, as you just saw."
*Jordan groans and rubs his temples.*
Jordan: "Fine. It is not like I have plans anymore thanks to you and Ripper."
*They start walking back to the Connection's locker room.*
Jordan: "I would do some research on cats before she gets here."
Scorpion: "Yeah! Also, since she likes cat, a nice leopard pelt to hang on the wall!"
Jordan: "Thank you, Ripper."
Jordan: "I will not donate to your fake charity, anymore."
*Ripper snaps his fingers.*
Ripper: "Damn."
*"The Virus" goes to leave, then spins around.*
Ripper: "NO oh oh oh oh oh..."
*Jordan raises an eyebrow.*
Jordan: "You love making the echo noise too much."
*Jordan crosses his arms.*
Jordan: "Now besides showcasing higher than normal levels of stupidity, what do you want?"
*Ripper picks up Scorpion from off-screen and sets him down in front of Jordan.*
Ripper: "You get him back for the day. I have business to conduct."
*Scorpion tries to enter the locker room, but Jordan shoves him back out.*
Jordan: "One, thanks for notifying me in a timely manner. Two, I am with Chantelle, so I cannot babysit. Besides, Scorpion did fine by himself when I was his primary employer."
Scorpion: "You never paid me. You gave me seashells."
Jordan: "Hush up! The natives would kill to have those."
*Scorpion looks down.*
Jordan: "Greg, just let the boy free in a pasture. He will roam around, graze on various grasses and moo at passing cars."
Ripper: "You're thinking of a cow."
*Jordan sighs and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a picture of a cow. Scorpion perks up at the sight.*
Scorpion: "MOO!"
*Jordan crumbles the picture up and tosses it down.*
Ripper: "Learn something new every day. Anyway, I am going to talk to Hasbro about their G.I. Joe with karate chop action is far too weak."
*Ripper holds up an action figure. He lets it chop Jordan in the forehead.*
Ripper: "See? That should have easily blunted your skull!"
Jordan: "Worthy endeavor."
Ripper: "Right? But it is something I must do on my own."
Jordan: "I still vote for the cow plan."
*Ripper holds up his arms to "The Role Model."*
Ripper: "Fine, AJ. Give me one three-second presentation to change your mind. If you still feel how you do, then I'll drop this. Deal?"
*Jordan stands back and relaxes signaling Ripper to let it...err...rip. Ripper nods and steps back. In the blink of an eye, he picks Scorpion up and hurls him into Jordan like a lawn dart.*
Scorpion: "WEEEEEEEE!"
*The co-Undisputed World Champion and Scorpion spill into the room as Ripper runs off. Chantelle jumps up in shock and rushes over to Jordan and helps him up as Scorpion stands back up.*
Scorpion: "AGAIN!"
*Jordan groans and ignores Scorpion.*
Jordan: "Sorry for this, baby. Ripper is almost more of a hassle as an ally than as a foe."
Chantelle: "It's okay."
*Scorpion notices the couple and sniffs.*
Scorpion: "Look at you two. So in love and happy."
Jordan: "Scorpion, quit it."
Chantelle: "Yeah, I wouldn't say we're in love."
*Jordan snaps his head to Chantelle and glares at her. She gives an "Oops, sorry" shrug.*
Jordan: "You would not talk to her. That is your own fault!"
Scorpion: "It's hard!"
Jordan: "Yeah, doing what you have been doing for the past five minutes is incredibly difficult."
*Scorpion falls into the fetal position and starts rocking back and forth.*
Chantelle: "Real nice."
*Chantelle starts to walk out of the room.*
Jordan: "Wow, if we were in love, I would be trying to stop you right now."
*Chantelle flips Jordan off and walks out of the room. Jordan angrily looks down at Scorpion.*
Jordan: "You are jealous of me for this?! You want this? You know, I am going to help you with Monica."
*Scorpion breaks the fetal position and cautiously rises.*
Scorpion: "Really?"
Jordan: "Yes. It will be appropriate revenge when you get her and discover that a girlfriend cures absolutely nothing and actually makes your life harder and less rewarding."
Scorpion: "Awww, thanks."
*Scorpion goes for a hug, but Jordan shoves him away.*
Jordan: "Now, since I know you stalk her, where is she now?"
Scorpion: "I don't stalk her! I just happen to know she is in the catering room because she generally takes lunch between 11:37 AM and 1:13 PM in a survey based on her times over the past three weeks."
Jordan: "Great. Walk with me."
*Jordan walks out of the room, and Scorpion follows him.*
Jordan: "Tell me what you know about her. What does she like?"
Scorpion: "Searches via the Internet and her personal belongings tell me that she loves cats."
Jordan: "Sweet. We will play the cute animal angle."
*Jordan stops at a closet. He opens the door, reaches in, and pulls out a black kitten.*
Scorpion: "Why are kittens in the closet?"
Jordan: "Because we do not have enough time to search for them."
*Jordan motions to the camera as he hands Scorpion the kitten, and they walk up to the catering room.*
Jordan: "Now walk in there with baby ice-breaker there, and you will be talking with her. It will probably draw her to you."
Scorpion: "That's pretty smart!"
Jordan: "I know. Now, have at it!"
*"The Role Model" shoves Scorpion into the room. Scorpion nervously walks around until he gets close to the brunette of his dreams. Scorpion can't speak, but doesn't have to as Monica turns and sees the kitten.*
Monica: "Awww! How cute!"
*She stands up and pets the kitten.*
Monica: "Bringing your pet to lunch?"
Scorpion: "The ambient temperature is 75 degrees!"
*Monica looks confused as Scorpion can barely stand.*
Monica: "Want me to look after the little guy while you get something to eat?"
Scorpion: "Yes, eat."
*Scorpion lifts the cat up to his mouth and opens wide. Seeing his assistant about to crash and burn, Jordan runs and slides next to Scorpion. He lowers Scorpion's arms.*
Jordan: "I do not think mouth-to-mouth is necessary, anymore."
*Jordan turns to Monica.*
Jordan: "He saved this little guy from drowning and has really focused on protecting him."
Monica: "That is so sweet!"
Jordan: "That is why he seems so flaky right now."
Scorpion: "Frosted Flakes...they're grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!"
*Jordan shakes his head, but plays the nice guy with Monica there.*
Jordan: "They sure are, buddy."
*Jordan turns to Monica.*
Jordan: "You do not happen to know anything about caring for cats, do you?"
Monica: "Are you kidding? I have two cats that I have raised since their mom abandoned."
Jordan: "That is adorable, but I do not care to hear the story."
*Jordan clasps his hands while acting nice.*
Jordan: "Anyway, could you take some time to help Scorpion later? He has never had a pet before, and, as you can tell, is really lost."
Monica: "I'd love to!"
Jordan: "Know where the Connection's locker room is?"
Monica: "Who doesn't?"
*Jordan gives his goofy grin upon hearing that.*
Jordan: "How about you stop by after your shift is over at..."
*Jordan trails off as he wants her to finish it.*
Monica and Scorpion: "Five."
*Jordan's jaw almost drops off at Scorpions' stupidity and desperately tries to defuse the situation as he puts on his act again.*
Jordan: "Always five o'clock somewhere!"
Monica: "That is so true!"
*They laugh, and Scorpion nervously joins in.*
Monica: "See you then!"
*Jordan nods and puts his arm around Scorpion to lead him away. When they reach the hall, he shoves Scorpion.*
Jordan: "Way to almost blow it, stupid!"
Scorpion: "I was nervous!"
Jordan: "Consuming a domestic pet raw is NEVER a good idea in the company of anyone!"
Scorpion: "I choked!"
Jordan: "You have been hanging around Ripper."
*Jordan laughs at his joke as the scene cuts to Ripper driving. Ripper grabs his head.*
Ripper: "I have this desire to punch AJ in the face for some reason."
*Back to the arena, Jordan waves to Scorpion and walks away.*
Jordan: "You got a date...somehow. Good luck. I would not recommend taking her to dinner."
*Jordan chuckles as Scorpion rushes after him.*
Scorpion: "You got to be my wingman again! I can't do this on my own, as you just saw."
*Jordan groans and rubs his temples.*
Jordan: "Fine. It is not like I have plans anymore thanks to you and Ripper."
*They start walking back to the Connection's locker room.*
Jordan: "I would do some research on cats before she gets here."
Scorpion: "Yeah! Also, since she likes cat, a nice leopard pelt to hang on the wall!"
Jordan: "Thank you, Ripper."
