The RETURN!!!

["The Aussie Icon" Croc]

(The camera cuts backstage and shows a long black limo pulling into the parking lot. The camera pans around to show the limo slowly pulling up to the entrance to the backstage area.)

(MTMT)
Who is arriving now?

(VENTURA)
I was backstage earlier and everyone who is everyone was there.

(MTMT)
It must be a celebrity because the show is nearly over.

(VENTURA)
The suspense is killing me!


(The camera zooms in on the limo door. The driver comes around and opens the back door and out of the limo steps a large man with long blonde hair. The crowd is dead quiet, unaware of this mystery man’s identity)


(VENTURA)
Who the hell is that?

(MTMT)
I might be wrong but is that Robbie Stallion?

(VENTURA)
Who the hell is Robbie Stallion?

(MTMT)
Exactly!


(Stallion raises his arms in triumph as if he is accepting the crowd’s adulation. Stallion looks at the camera)


(ROBBIE STALLION)
Oh yeah you better believe it! It’s the long awaited return of the man beast they called Robbie Stallion… I am back baby and I am bigger and better than ever. I am going to take the AWA by storm and…


WHACK![/i][/color]


(Robbie Stallion is floored mid sentence by a devastating kick from out of camera shot. The camera turns to its right and sees a pair of white skate shoes. The camera pans up and shows a pair of blue jeans and then a black sleeveless t-shirt. The camera pauses before panning up to the face and revealing the mystery man to be none other than the Aussie Icon Croc. The crowd goes nuts upon seeing an unquestionable legend of the business.)


(MTMT)
OH MY GAWD!

(VENTURA)
IT’S CROC!


(Croc looks down at the unconscious Robbie Stallion and shakes his head in utter disgust)


(CROC)
Bigger and better than ever… But still dumb as f**k!


(The crowd pops as Croc steps over the fallen Robbie Stallion and walks into the backstage area)


(MTMT)
Why is Croc here? Has he resigned with the AWA?

(VENTURA)
Who cares? Croc is here and he just knocked Robbie Stallion to back to last week!


(The camera follows Croc as he walks into the backstage area. As he walks through, the camera shows many by standers stopping what they are doing and just looking in disbelief as Croc walks past. Obviously not many people knew of Croc’s return tonight. Croc suddenly approaches an AWA backstage crew member)


(CROC)
Hey Kevin!


(The crew member looks around before realizes Croc is talking to him)


(AWA CREW MEMBER)
My name is Matthew


(Croc laughs)


(CROC)
Oh Kevin… You’re not going to get me with that joke a third time.


(MATTHEW)
No really… My name is Matthew!


(Croc laughs again and slaps the crew member on the back)


(CROC)
You’re good. I see you even went to the trouble of getting a fake name tag made up.


(MATTHEW)
It’s not a fake. My name is MATTHEW!


(Croc doesn’t laugh this time. He just glares at the crew member)


(CROC)
Did you not hear me laugh before KEVIN? I said it was a funny joke, but there is no need to continue on with this stupid joke.


(Seeing Croc’s demeanor change, the crew member backs down a little bit)


(CROC)
So KEVIN… What is the go around here these days? Who is holding the belt? MJ? AJ?


(MATTHEW)
No.


(Croc seems a little surprised)


(CROC)
What there is a new guy around here?


(MATTHEW)
No…


(CROC)
Don’t tell me that fat fuck Crazy Bill is the champ


(MATTHEW)
No… God no!


(Both men laugh)


(CROC)
Then who is the champ?


(MATTHEW)
Ripper


(Croc bursts into hysterical laughter for about a minute. Croc eventually composes himself, wipes the tears from his eyes)


(CROC)
You haven’t changed a bit Kevin. Always coming up with the cracker one liners. So who really is the champ?


(MATTHEW)
Ripper is the champion


(Croc stops laughing and once again glares at the crew member)


(CROC)
You’re starting to piss me off Kevin. There is no need to milk a laugh for ever and ever. I want to know who the champion is and you keep wasting my time by telling me stupid jokes that you’re name is Matthew and Ripper is the champion. What are you going to tell me next? Anthony Jordan has turned hetro-sexual and is banging a hot chick?


(MATTHEW)
Well funny you say that…


(CROC)
Fuck off Kevin… I don’t like you anymore.


(Croc storms off. As Croc walks away, a second crew member who is the identical twin of Matthew)


(MATTHEW)
Hey Kevin…


(KEVIN)
Who was that?


(MATTHEW)
I don’t know.


(KEVIN)
What’s the go with his haircut? It’s a bit fruity isn’t it?


(MATTHEW)
That’s what I was thinking.


(Both men laugh and walk past the camera. The camera then cuts back to the arena and suddenly “Breakstuff” by Limp Bizkit hits and the crowd erupts as the Aussie Icon appears on AWA television after a long absence)


(MTMT)
Croc is the most hated man in this business without a doubt.

(VENTURA)
If he is so hated, then why are all these people cheering him?

(MTMT)
Well as I was going to say before you interrupted me… Whether you love him or hate him, you have to respect what Croc has done in this business. I have had many a run in with the man they call the Aussie Icon, but just like these fans I am excited to see a true legend return to the AWA.

(VENTURA)
And by run ins you mean Croc kicked your ass many times…

(MTMT)
I held my own against him. I am quite proud of my record against Croc, who I believe is one of the best this business has seen.


(Croc makes his way down the ramp, slapping the outreached hands of the ringside fans. Croc rolls into the ring and is thrown a microphone. He stands in the centre of the ring and pauses as he ‘takes in’ being back in front of an AWA crowd.)


(CROC)
Damn it’s good to be back in the AWA!


(Massive pop)


(CROC)
I know it has been a long time since I was last here, but one thing has not changed… I am still the Aussie Icon and I am still who steals the show, steals the headlines and steals the hearts of everyone in attendance!


(Croc laughs to himself)


(CROC)
But walking backstage I have seen a lot has changed since I last was here… Things seem more intense and more heated. You can cut the tension backstage with a spoon…


(Croc pauses)


(CROC)
Or you could just cut it with a knife!


(The crowd laughs as Croc tries to hide his slip up)


(CROC)
But one thing I still have not been able to determine is who is the top dog around here. I have had some people trying to pull my wool over my eyes by telling me a certain someone was Undisputed Champion.


(A loud RIPPER chant erupts. Croc looks confused. He looks out to the crowd and sees a sea of Ripper signs indicating he is the champion. The look on Croc’s face is priceless. It is a mixture of horror, disbelief and what appears to be nausea)


(CROC)
No this can’t be true. He can’t have won it.


(Croc shakes his head)


(CROC)
This is one of these things you have to see to believe… So if it is true than let me see it… I wanna see this so called champion out here in this ring NOW!


(Croc points to the entrance way and awaits to be greeted by the Undisputed Champion. Another, more intense, RIPPER chant erupts as Croc awaits)

[Gregory "Ripper" Kennedy]

((Just a quick reply before I head to work))

:: As Croc is waiting in the ring for the arrival of the supposed champion he is not disappointed. The lights dim and the giger-esque images interlaced with shots of the world title begin to play. Sure enough the usual shout of “I’M RIPPER” booms over the PA system followed by Switchback v.5 beginning to play. Out from the back walks Ripper. He has a large smile on his face obviously happy to see his “friend”::

Matt Tassel: “Ripper and Croc have an interesting dynamic.. Many said Ripper has ruined Croc’s career many times.”

Jesse Venture: “Ripper HAS ruined Croc’s career many times.”

Matt Tassel: “The two seem to have a weirder friendship than Ripper and Anthony Jordan.”

Jesse Ventura: “Ripper just doesn’t understand that everyone hates him”

:: Ripper is wearing his usual street gear and has the AWA World Heavyweight Championship wrapped securely around the waist and fastened with a padlock at the back. It even now has chains connecting it to Rippers trousers.::

Matt Tassel: “Ripper is taking this security thing a bit far isn’t he?”

Jesse Ventura: “He is crazy remember.”

Matt Tassel: “I don’t think he’s actually crazy.”

:: Ripper reaches the ring and slides in under the bottom rope and stands to face “The Aussie Icon.” Ripper holds out his arms for a hug but Croc simply stares back at him, slightly confused and perplexed as to why Ripper has the Heavyweight Title. Seeing that Croc isn’t going to go for the hug Ripper shakes his head and retrieves a microphone from outside of the ring.::
Ripper: “Croc. It’s so good to see you. How’ve you been? Still got the same haircut I see.”

:: The fans give a slight chortle as Croc rolls his eyes at the old joke. ::

Ripper: “Ahh that’s old news we all know how you roll in the haircut department. Anyway it’s good to see you back. Now it occurs to me that you are finding some of the changes around here hard to swallow, which is surprising for you. I think the main change that you are having a problem with. Is this...”

:: Ripper points towards the title secured around his waist. ::

Ripper: “Why do you find it so hard to believe that I won the world title. I finally won the big one. I pinned MJW to the mat and became the new AWA World Heavyweight Champion”

:: The fans cheer as Ripper reminds them of himself pinning MJW. ::

Ripper: “So now that I’m out here what is it you want? Is it to congratulate me? Is it to say it’s good to be back with my best friend Ripper. Or is it simply to challenge me like anyone else. I can assure you of this Croc. If it is to challenge me you’ve got one hell of a challenge coming up.”

["The Aussie Icon" Croc]

(Croc glares at Ripper. The glare is filled with intensity and Ripper’s demeanor changes as he returns serve with a glare right back at Croc. Croc lifts the microphone up to his mouth)


(CROC)
Never ever and I mean never ever try and use the words “best friends” in a sentence when you include both you and I in the same sentence.


(Ripper rolls his eyes)


(CROC)
The fact that you thought I was out here to say how good it was to be back in the AWA with my best friend… And imply that best friend is you…


(Croc shudders)


(CROC)
I just vomited in my mouth a little bit.


(The crowd laughs as Croc takes a few deep breaths to compose himself)


(CROC)
But I am out here because whilst a couple of people had said that you were the champion, I just could not believe it until I saw it with my own two eyes.


(Croc looks Ripper up and down)


(CROC)
But come on Ripper… What’s the deal? Did you buy that belt from the merchandise stand or AWA.com?


(Ripper shakes his head. He taps the title belt that is firmly around his waist. Ripper says something to Croc which goes undetected by the microphones.)


(CROC)
Easy on Ripper… What other assumption was I meant to come up with?


(Croc pauses and thinks for a few seconds. He then points at Ripper)


(CROC)
Oh I have got it now… This is a whole Punk’d episode isn’t it? Where are the cameras? Where is Ashton?


(The crowd laughs a little bit as Croc looks around for the cameras. Ripper shakes his head. After a few moments Croc realizes that this isn’t a Punk’d episode. He takes a deep breath and shakes his head in disbelief)


(CROC)
So are you telling me that you are ACTUALLY the AWA Undisputed Champion for real?


(RIPPER)
Yes… I am the champion


(Big pop from the crowd)


(CROC)
No jokes?


(RIPPER)
I am not joking.


(CROC)
Swear on your mothers grave!


(RIPPER)
My mother isn’t dead.


(CROC)
Well than swear on the grave of Whitey Ford!


(RIPPER)
He isn’t dead either.


(CROC)
Really?


(RIPPER)
No. I am pretty sure he is alive, just retired.


(CROC)
I swear I heard that he suffocated on his bong smoke.


(RIPPER)
Nope.


(CROC)
Well that’s a shame… I kinda feel bad that I sent flowers to his family.


(RIPPER)
You sent flowers to his family?


(CROC)
Well not technically… I would have sent flowers to his family if I actually gave a crap that he died!


(Ripper and Croc laugh)


(RIPPER)
Well anyway… Let’s say for promo sakes that Whitey Ford is dead…


(CROC)
It does bring a smile to my face.


(RIPPER)
Besides the point… But if he was dead, I swear on his grave that I am the Undisputed Champion.


(Another loud pop from the crowd who is obviously loving Ripper as the champion.)


(CROC)
I don’t believe you.


(RIPPER)
What?


(CROC)
Don’t believe you.


(RIPPER)
Why?


(CROC)
Because you are always trying to tell me these outlandish stories to make me believe them and make me look like a fool.


(RIPPER)
I have never done such a thing.


(CROC)
Oh bullocks… What about the time when you tried to convince me that Crazy Bill wasn’t fat but was actually the first man to ever fall pregnant.


(The crowd laughs as Croc raises his eyebrows)


(RIPPER)
I stand by that story… I still think he was pregnant.


(CROC)
And then you tried to tell me that there had to be a paternity test between Donzig, Crazy Donnie and Timmy Draven to find out who the father was.


(The crowd laughs quite loudly. Even Ripper breaks and smirks)


(RIPPER)
Well I would have succeeded except you hired a private investigator to follow them all around to disprove my theory.


(Croc nods and is quite proud of himself)


(CROC)
Best $2000 I ever spent.


(RIPPER)
You spent $2000 on that private investigator?


(CROC)
No… Timmy Draven spent $2000 on my private investigator… That dumb prick would sign any expense forms.


(Croc and Ripper laugh)


(RIPPER)
So what do I have to do to make you believe that I am the Undisputed Champion for real?


(Croc doesn’t even think. He just holds out his hands)


(CROC)
I will believe you if you give me the title belt


(RIPPER)
What? How does that work?


(CROC)
A real champion would be secure enough to give me the title belt.


(RIPPER)
But I know you… You won’t give it back.


(CROC)
Yes I will


(RIPPER)
No you won’t.


(CROC)
Just give it to me.


(RIPPER)
No


(CROC)
Give it


(RIPPER)
No


(CROC)
If you were cool you would give it to me


(RIPPER)
Lucky I am not cool


(CROC)
Just give it to me


(RIPPER)
OK


(CROC)
Really?


(RIPPER)
NO!


(CROC)
You suck


(RIPPER)
No your mother sucks


(CROC)
Touché!


(Croc shrugs his shoulder and Ripper and the crowd laughs. Croc suddenly gets in the face of the Undisputed Champion)


(CROC)
Well if you will not give it to me… I might just very well just take it.


(Ripper glares back at Croc)


(RIPPER)
As I said before Croc… If you want to challenge me like everyone else than I will tell you now that you will have one hell of a challenge in front of you.


(CROC)
Do you know who the hell you are talking to Ripper? I am the Aussie Icon. I have won more titles than most in this company have in their win column. You may have got lucky once but the fact of the matter is that big championship matches are your kryptonite… You may think that you would pose me a challenge, but the fact is that I would teach you a lesson not only in wrestling but also what it takes to be a true champion. If I want that title, it is only a matter of ‘when’ not ‘if’ I get my hands on that title.


(Croc and Ripper are right up in each others faces)


(CROC)
Lucky I have nothing else to prove in this business…


(Ripper seems confused)


(CROC)
Because I am not out here to challenge you Ripper…


(Croc smirks)


(CROC)
I am out here to say to you officially… Well done mate… You finally won the big one!


(Croc grabs Ripper’s arm and holds his hand up as the crowd goes nuts.)


(CROC)
I might be back but I am here to have fun… I have no ambition to take your title… CHAMP!


(The crowd cheers loudly as Croc and Ripper shake hands)

[Anthony Jordan]

Voice: "Now I know this is not real!"

*The fans cheer as the former Undisputed World Champion walks out onto the stage decked out in a Connection T-shirt and a pair of khakis. He looks at Croc and Ripper in the ring and shakes his head before raising his microphone back up.*

Jordan: "It is not possible for you two to be all chummy."

*Jordan starts to walk down the ramp.*

Ventura: "It's sickening to see those two be friendly. Croc was once a great man."

MTMT: "I question how genuine Croc really is. He's saying the right things, but, deep down, he always hungers for the gold and the spotlight."

Ventura: "Exactly! Give in, Croc!"

*Jordan reaches the steps and ascends them. He enters the ring and walks up to "The Virus" and "The Aussie Icon." He gives his goofy grin before raising his microphone.*

Jordan: "Croc...'The Aussie Icon.' Never thought I would see you again, but figuring how I am currently trapped in a nightmare, it makes sense."

*Jordan glares at Croc.*

Jordan: "Remember what you did last in the AWA? You laid down for JJ Executioner in a triple threat for him to take my Pure Title!"

*The crowd boos as Croc thinks for a second, then chuckles as he does remember.*

Croc: "Good times, AJ!"

*Jordan just frowns as Croc tries to play it off.*

MTMT: "No love lost from Anthony Jordan's point of view."

Jordan: "Now I know why you came back. You came back because you had to see Ripper with the belt and, even then, you find yourself doubting it. That is completely understandable. Even if this was somehow real, and I do not believe it is for a second, I pinned Ripper first in the match, then he pinned MJ Windsor. If we are being technical, Ripper is a co-champion, at best, which is disputable because I already pinned him. Simply put, I am the real Undisputed World Champion."

*The fans boo as Jordan turns and looks at Ripper.*

Jordan: "A padlock keeps the belt around your waist, but it cannot stop the truth from escaping out into the wrestling world. Your insecurity makes sense in light of all of this."

*Ripper steps up to Jordan as the crowd stands up anticipating a showdown.*

Ventura: "Here it comes! I'm loving this side of Anthony Jordan."

MTMT: "The alliance may finally be breaking!"

*Jordan gives his goofy grin and steps back.*

Jordan: "But, like Croc, I have no ambition to take the title right now. Besides, I want you focused on Kevin Cash because as much as I do not like seeing you with the belt, it would be a sign of Hades on Earth if he wins."

*The crowd cheers loudly as Jordan shakes his head at that horrible thought.*

Jordan: "However, what we have here is something unique..."

*Jordan looks at Ripper, then at Croc.*

Jordan: "How many times in the history of our various federations have Anthony Jordan, Ripper and Croc all been near the top and been on the same page? Has it ever happened?"

*Ripper and Croc talk to each other, and both shrug. The fans are starting to go crazy as Jordan holds out his hands trying to look innocent.*

Ventura: "They better not do what I think they're going to do."

Jordan: "Could you imagine three allies more powerful? Lord, what would we call ourselves?"

Ripper: "The Anti-Croc League!"

*The fans go wild as Croc shoots Ripper a death glare. Ripper grins sheepishly as Croc snaps his fingers.*

Croc: "Elite Establishment!"

*The fans cheer as Croc and Jordan look at each other and shake their heads.*

Croc and Jordan: "NO!"

MTMT: "Everyone's having fun. This is what the AWA should be about!"

*Jordan wags his finger as he has an idea.*

Jordan: "The Jordan Three!"

*The other two shake their heads.*

Croc: "No ring to it. Now Handsome Croc and the Croc-ettes...that's a stable name!"

*The fans love it as the last two Undisputed World Champions make sour faces.*

Jordan: "How about D-Connection-X? I mean, no one is using it, after all."

*Jordan gives his goofy grin.*

MTMT: "A shot right at Nicholas Jacob Draven."

Jordan: "But, whatever we would call ourselves, it would be something special. Right, everybody?"

*The crowd goes wild as Jordan drops his microphone. All three men play to the crowd giving them a show they thought they'd never see.*

MTMT: "How lucky are these fans? This is a great moment in AWA history!"

Ventura: "Give me a barf bag!"

MTMT: "It's...HEY, who's that running down the ramp?!"

*Just as MTMT says it, the camera catches a hooded figure running down the aisle with a lead pipe. All three men in the ring are turned away as the figure nears the ring. Croc and Ripper, done with the fanfare, go to turn around, but "The Role Model" grabs each man by the wrist and raises them in a display of showmanship. None of them see the figure slide into the ring and crack Croc in the back of the knee with the pipe! The crowd erupts in thunderous boos as the figure drops down, picks up Jordan's microphone, and rolls out of the ring as Ripper tries retaliate, but fails.*

MTMT: "Who was that?"

Ventura: "I don't know, but you're right, Matt, this was a historic night! HAHA!"

*The figure walks backward to the ramp and takes off the mask to reveal Khris Heaven! The crowd gives her thunderous boos as she raises the microphone.*

Heaven: "Anthony, you already got a group, and it's the Connection!"

*She smirks and walks back up the ramp as Croc is writhing in pain, but manages to yell at Heaven. Ripper looks at Heaven, then at Jordan and gives "The Role Model" a shove. Jordan looks confused and shrugs as he drops down and rolls out of the ring. He jogs after Heaven as we go to a commercial.*

["The Aussie Icon" Croc]

(Later in the show, the camera cuts backstage and shows Croc being attended to by the resident AWA medic in the backstage area. Croc is still feeling the effects of the cheap shot with the lead pipe from Khris Heaven.)


(MEDIC)
OK Croc I am just going to see how much movement we can get with your knee now.


(The medic bends Croc’s knee and he lets out a moan of agony)


(CROC)
F**k that hurts.


(The medic stops and stands up)


(MEDIC)
Well you have a great deal of swelling around the knee area. There doesn’t appear to be any ligament or bone damage. I will have to get this confirmed with an X-ray when the swelling goes down, but at worse it may be some bruising to the bone.


(Croc shakes his head. Obviously he is pissed off with how his unexpected return to the AWA has ended up. As Croc holds his knee, in walks Ripper)


(RIPPER)
Nice bruise.


(CROC)
Shut up you moron.


(RIPPER)
Hey don’t get all shitty with me. I didn’t hit you with the pipe.


(CROC)
I know… But who the hell was the bitch with the stick?


(RIPPER)
Khris Heaven.


(CROC)
Didn’t he die? And wasn’t he a dude?


(RIPPER)
Well yes and yes… But this is Khris Heaven… I think it is his sister or something.


(CROC)
What kind of fool names both their kids the same god damn name?


(RIPPER)
South Africans?


(Croc chuckles but it doesn’t last long as he feel a sharp pain from his knee, which the medic has placed some large ice packs upon)


(CROC)
Well that bitch has got some kind of revenge upon her when I see her next.


(RIPPER)
I think there is a queue for that.


(CROC)
I don’t give a crap. What the hell is her deal anyway? She come and cracked me in the knee because Anthony Jordan tried to be all chummy with me?


(RIPPER)
Something like that?


(CROC)
Is she having her period or something?


(Ripper shrugs)


(CROC)
I thought I could smell blood.


(Ripper screws up his face with a disgusted look)


(RIPPER)
That is disgusting.


(CROC)
What? You can smell when a chick is bleeding… It’s like smelling fear in an opponent.


(RIPPER)
You can smell fear? I thought that was just an expression.


(CROC)
No… I can smell it


(RIPPER)
What does it smell like?


(CROC)
A mixture of cabbage and corn flour


(Ripper looks surprised)


(RIPPER)
Really?


(CROC)
No you dickhead… I don’t know how to describe how it smells… It just does.


(Ripper nudges Croc’s injured knee causing Croc to keel over in pain)


(CROC)
Why the hell did you do that for?


(RIPPER)
I don’t know… It looked like fun.


(CROC)
Well it wasn’t fun.


(RIPPER)
I disagree


(Ripper nudges Croc’s knee again and gets the same reaction)


(CROC)
I swear I will smash you in the face if you bump my knee again.


(RIPPER)
If you do that, I will just tell a certain midget your whereabouts.


(The colour in Croc’s face drains and he goes pale)


(CROC)
You wouldn’t dare.


(RIPPER)
I would. He still calls me every month trying to get a gig as my agent.


(CROC)
It took me six months to finally get rid of that… thing! I have had STDs that were easier to get rid of


(RIPPER)
Did you just admit to having STDs?


(Realising what he just said, Croc tries to back peddle)


(CROC)
I don’t actually have a STD… It is just a figure of speech


(RIPPER)
What was it? Crabs? Chlamydia? Gonorrhea? Cancer?


(CROC)
Cancer isn’t a STD you idiot


(RIPPER)
So it was Gonorrhea?


(CROC)
No


(RIPPER)
Yes it was.


(CROC)
I’ve had enough of your crap for one day. I am outta here!


(Croc jumps up from the table and tries to walk but falls over due to the knee injury. Croc falls off screen and yells out in pain. Ripper looks down at him and laughs. He then shrugs his shoulders and softly kicks Croc in the injured knee causing Croc more pain)


(RIPPER)
You’re so wrong… It is still funny!


(Ripper laughs and walks out leaving Croc on the floor yelling out for the medic)