Reality

[Anthony Jordan]

*The scene opens up with "The Role Model" walking down the corridor shaking his head.*

Jordan: "When is this nightmare going to end? MJ is using me and lying; Croc is back; and worst of all, Ripper is the Undisputed World Champion. It cannot be real...it just cannot be!"

*Still struggling with reality, Jordan rounds a corner and comes face-to-face with Ripper.*

Jordan: "Greg."

Ripper: "Man with ambiguous sexuality says 'What?'"

Jordan: "What...d'oh!"

*Ripper smiles and claps like a child as Jordan stomps the ground in anger.*

Jordan: "You even burn me like the real Ripper."

Ripper: "I am the real Ripper!"

Jordan: "No, you are a figment of REM sleep! None of this can be real! MJ does not care more about himself than he does about me. Croc would never return. He is washed up. You...you cannot win the big one! I have searched my feelings, and I know it to be true."

Ripper: "So, by your logic, you'd only believe this is something happened that you could never conceptualize?"

Jordan: "No, I could conceptualize you winning just like I could conceptualize a unicorn, a leprechaun or a tiger."

Ripper: "Tigers exist."

Jordan: "No in about twenty years or so."

*Ripper turns to the camera.*

Ripper: "Still think global warming and deforestation don't hurt anyone?"

*Ripper turns back to Jordan after figuratively and literally getting off his soapbox.*

Ripper: "Know how it feels to be hit with a soapbox?"

Jordan: "Umm...no, I have never been hit with one. To be honest, I have no idea how it would feel."

Ripper: "So you couldn't conceptualize it?"

Jordan: "I would say that is true. It...OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

*Ripper smashes Jordan in the face with the soapbox. Jordan falls to the ground in pain as he holds his face.*

Jordan: "I had no idea this level of pain existed!"

*Ripper grins and helps Jordan up.*

Ripper: "See? This can't be a dream because you have no way to process what it is like to be hit with a soapbox. You felt real, new, and previously-unconceptualized-by-you pain."

Jordan: "So...it is real?"

Ripper: "Yes."

Jordan: "MJ is a total jerk?"

Ripper: "Definitely."

Jordan: "Croc is back."

Ripper: "Yup."

Jordan: "And you..."

*He points at the Undisputed World Title padlocked to Ripper's waist. Ripper just nods as the reality of the situation hits Jordan like a ton of bricks. He runs his hands through his hair and looks like he's about to cry.*

Jordan: "No...way...I...it...NOT REAL!"

*He leans against the wall as his breathing gets deeper.*

Jordan: "It is...real...all of it!"

*Jordan turns to Ripper.*

Jordan: "I NEED TO GO TO MY QUIET PLACE!"

*He kicks open the door to the parking lot, gets into a classic Volkswagon Beetle, and drives off. Scorpion walks off to witness Jordan driving off.*

Scorpion: "MY CAR!"

*As the car pulls up to an abandoned warehouse, the following plays.*









*After it is over, the camera pulls out to show Ripper and Scorpion watching Footloose.*

Ripper: "And that's what AJ is doing right now?"

Scorpion: "Not with that much grace. He usually falls down a lot and comes back with cuts and bruises. It's how he vents in the face of disappointing news."

Ripper: "Dramatic much? How often does he do it?"

Scorpion: "About once a week."

Ripper: "Wish I had known this sooner. I practically stalk him, and I never knew this. I'm somewhat disappointed in myself."

*Ripper looks down.*

Scorpion: "Want to attend a midget fight?"

*Ripper perks up.*

Ripper: "You had me at 'midget.'"