Post by Gregory "Ripper" Kennedy on Sept 22, 2009 18:46:25 GMT -4
:: The camera opens up backstage in Croc’s dressing room. Croc is sitting flicking through a magazine. It appears to be a shopping catalogue of some kind. He marks a couple pages and continues to look through as the door opens and the AWA world Heavyweight Champion walks in. ::
Ripper: “Howdy my Australian brethren”
Croc: “I don’t know what that means so I will be forced to bash you”
Ripper: “Ahhh you never bash me you only threaten and occasionally prod but that’s about it”
Croc: “Prod? Why do you have to make everything sexual?”
Ripper “Because if I don't you get bored and your mind wanders”
Croc: “Good point. Much like when AJ is talking to a woman... His mind eventually wanders back to having sex with men”
Ripper: “Or the world title...or other men with the world title. Wait... That means AJ is thinking about me? Eugh. Now I know how you feel when I call us friends”
Croc: “You just felt like you swallowed some vomit?”
Ripper: “Yeah and like I really have to take a long shower”
Croc: “Yep now you know... Though I will say that I actually physically threw up when AJ said he wanted to become my friend”
Ripper: “Awww. That means I lot. I think”
:: Ripper walks over to the table where Croc is sitting and sits opposite him. He pulls the catalogue away from him to have a look however; Croc simply pulls it back and throws it away off camera. ::
Croc: “I am pretty sure AJ is trying to become my friend so he can hit on me”
Ripper: “He did send you that love letter than was disguised as an invitation to his birthday. Why does a grown man still have birthday parties?”
Croc: “Besides the fact he has sex with men, AJ's birthday party would have been the gayest thing about him”
Ripper: “Yeah I mean his haircut says it all. “
Croc: “Exactly... WAIT! That was a joke against me wasn’t it?”
Ripper: “Not really. I was simply saying you can tell a lot about someone by their haircut. The fact that it’s a joke I used to use a lot against you really says nothing.”
Croc: “Hmmmmm... I don't trust you one bit “
Ripper “And I don't trust you one bit. That's in the haircut as well. “
Croc: “Enough with the haircut”
Ripper: “Ok. I'll stop. So you figured out what you would buy with the million dollars? Remembering that this is American currency and not Australian. So you can get more than a pair of socks”
Croc: “I will let you know the Australian Dollar is nearly the same as the American Dollar you idiot”
Ripper: “Sorry I assumed you were poor because of the Aborigine problem”
Croc: "You're from Scotland. How can you talk about Aborigine problems?"
Ripper: "Yeah but we solved ours. We call it Glasgow. I suppose you have New South Wales."
Croc: “That is a believable assumption... I think I would buy a factory so I can produce Croc memorabilia more efficiently. That is every persons dream”
Ripper: “To own a factory or a factory producing your merchandise?”
Croc: “No everyone's dream is to have some Croc memorabilia”
Ripper: “It's true. I often dream about having your memorabilia in a fire. Or falling. It's always one of the other”
Croc: “No they are nightmares”
Ripper: “The burning one isn't so bad. I always wake up with a smile on my face. Like I would if I had ever finished my cure for cancer. Unfortunately my proposal was slapped down by the board of directors. I was sure I could cure cancer by constantly hitting AJ with a two by four”
Croc: “That’s the cure for AIDS”
Ripper: “Is the cure for cancer kicking MJ in the crotch?”
Croc: “That doesn’t really cure anything... But it’s still fun to do”
Ripper: “That's so true. Just like setting up an anvil so it falls on him the moment he walks out his door.”
Croc: “Oh I haven’t done that for ages... Let’s do it”
Ripper: “Let's go. And on the way we can roll AJ up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge.”
Croc: “Now that sounds like a cure for cancer”
Ripper: “Only one way to find out. Let’s go test.”
Croc: “Have you got an anvil?”
Ripper: “What kind of stupid question is that? I own a tank. Do you honestly think I don't own an anvil?”
Croc: “I thought you might have sold it to score some crack”
Ripper: “Since when have I been a crack addict?”
Croc: “The eighties?”
Ripper: “No. I've been a wrestler since the eighties”
Croc: “Isn’t that the same? Didn’t every wrestler do crack in the eighties?”
Ripper: “Well I didn't. Dunno about everyone else. I know Whitey started in the eighties....Wrestling that is.”
Croc: “Wasn’t it in the 80's when MJ turned homosexual for a couple of years?”
Ripper: “Those couple turned into a long haul.”
Croc: “Y’up. He still thinks it’s the eighties and no amount of calendars will ever change his mind.”
Ripper: “Oh well there isn’t much we can do about that. Shall we go try find this anvil then.”
Croc: “Lets go.”
:: The two stand up and head towards the door. Croc grabs a rope that is lassoed and hung up next to the door as they head out::
Ripper: “So what was that magazine you were looking at before I came in.”
Croc: “Industrialist Monthly. I wanted to see how much a printing press would cost.”
Ripper: “Really?”
Croc: “Have I ever lied to you?”
Ripper:”Frequently.”
Ripper: “Howdy my Australian brethren”
Croc: “I don’t know what that means so I will be forced to bash you”
Ripper: “Ahhh you never bash me you only threaten and occasionally prod but that’s about it”
Croc: “Prod? Why do you have to make everything sexual?”
Ripper “Because if I don't you get bored and your mind wanders”
Croc: “Good point. Much like when AJ is talking to a woman... His mind eventually wanders back to having sex with men”
Ripper: “Or the world title...or other men with the world title. Wait... That means AJ is thinking about me? Eugh. Now I know how you feel when I call us friends”
Croc: “You just felt like you swallowed some vomit?”
Ripper: “Yeah and like I really have to take a long shower”
Croc: “Yep now you know... Though I will say that I actually physically threw up when AJ said he wanted to become my friend”
Ripper: “Awww. That means I lot. I think”
:: Ripper walks over to the table where Croc is sitting and sits opposite him. He pulls the catalogue away from him to have a look however; Croc simply pulls it back and throws it away off camera. ::
Croc: “I am pretty sure AJ is trying to become my friend so he can hit on me”
Ripper: “He did send you that love letter than was disguised as an invitation to his birthday. Why does a grown man still have birthday parties?”
Croc: “Besides the fact he has sex with men, AJ's birthday party would have been the gayest thing about him”
Ripper: “Yeah I mean his haircut says it all. “
Croc: “Exactly... WAIT! That was a joke against me wasn’t it?”
Ripper: “Not really. I was simply saying you can tell a lot about someone by their haircut. The fact that it’s a joke I used to use a lot against you really says nothing.”
Croc: “Hmmmmm... I don't trust you one bit “
Ripper “And I don't trust you one bit. That's in the haircut as well. “
Croc: “Enough with the haircut”
Ripper: “Ok. I'll stop. So you figured out what you would buy with the million dollars? Remembering that this is American currency and not Australian. So you can get more than a pair of socks”
Croc: “I will let you know the Australian Dollar is nearly the same as the American Dollar you idiot”
Ripper: “Sorry I assumed you were poor because of the Aborigine problem”
Croc: "You're from Scotland. How can you talk about Aborigine problems?"
Ripper: "Yeah but we solved ours. We call it Glasgow. I suppose you have New South Wales."
Croc: “That is a believable assumption... I think I would buy a factory so I can produce Croc memorabilia more efficiently. That is every persons dream”
Ripper: “To own a factory or a factory producing your merchandise?”
Croc: “No everyone's dream is to have some Croc memorabilia”
Ripper: “It's true. I often dream about having your memorabilia in a fire. Or falling. It's always one of the other”
Croc: “No they are nightmares”
Ripper: “The burning one isn't so bad. I always wake up with a smile on my face. Like I would if I had ever finished my cure for cancer. Unfortunately my proposal was slapped down by the board of directors. I was sure I could cure cancer by constantly hitting AJ with a two by four”
Croc: “That’s the cure for AIDS”
Ripper: “Is the cure for cancer kicking MJ in the crotch?”
Croc: “That doesn’t really cure anything... But it’s still fun to do”
Ripper: “That's so true. Just like setting up an anvil so it falls on him the moment he walks out his door.”
Croc: “Oh I haven’t done that for ages... Let’s do it”
Ripper: “Let's go. And on the way we can roll AJ up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge.”
Croc: “Now that sounds like a cure for cancer”
Ripper: “Only one way to find out. Let’s go test.”
Croc: “Have you got an anvil?”
Ripper: “What kind of stupid question is that? I own a tank. Do you honestly think I don't own an anvil?”
Croc: “I thought you might have sold it to score some crack”
Ripper: “Since when have I been a crack addict?”
Croc: “The eighties?”
Ripper: “No. I've been a wrestler since the eighties”
Croc: “Isn’t that the same? Didn’t every wrestler do crack in the eighties?”
Ripper: “Well I didn't. Dunno about everyone else. I know Whitey started in the eighties....Wrestling that is.”
Croc: “Wasn’t it in the 80's when MJ turned homosexual for a couple of years?”
Ripper: “Those couple turned into a long haul.”
Croc: “Y’up. He still thinks it’s the eighties and no amount of calendars will ever change his mind.”
Ripper: “Oh well there isn’t much we can do about that. Shall we go try find this anvil then.”
Croc: “Lets go.”
:: The two stand up and head towards the door. Croc grabs a rope that is lassoed and hung up next to the door as they head out::
Ripper: “So what was that magazine you were looking at before I came in.”
Croc: “Industrialist Monthly. I wanted to see how much a printing press would cost.”
Ripper: “Really?”
Croc: “Have I ever lied to you?”
Ripper:”Frequently.”
