Helping you out, so I can be the one who hurts you

[Anthony Jordan]

*The scene opens up with Scorpion holding a stack of papers that tower over his head and whistling a happy tune. He opens the door of Ripper's locker room and speaks.*

Scorpion: "Filed for that burn permit, Ripper!"

*Scorpion smiles as he sets the papers down on Ripper's desk.*

Scorpion: "And I..."

*Scorpion finally looks up and sees "The Role Model" sitting in Ripper's chair.*

Scorpion: "OH GOD NO!"

*The shock sends Scorpion back into the wall and through the drywall. Anthony Jordan just smiles.*

Jordan: "Still got it."

*A few minutes later, a sad and dejected Ripper enters the room. He has a copy of Little Women padlocked around his waist. Jordan raises an eyebrow at this.*

Jordan: "Even for you that makes no sense."

*Normally the sight of Jordan in his room would elicit a meaner, more violent reaction from Ripper, but "The Virus" just sighs and pulls Scorpion out of the wall. While he normally wouldn't question why someone went through the wall, he disregards it even more. He sets his assistant on the couch, then falls back into a chair. Jordan finally stands up and walks over to his frenemy.*

Jordan: "Stopping by to see how you were doing."

Ripper: "I'm fine."

Jordan: "I saw you in the park throwing rocks at old couples."

Ripper: "WHY SHOULD THEY GET TO BE HAPPY?!"

*Ripper doubles over in sadness as Scorpion finally comes to and sits up on the couch.*

Scorpion: "Thanks for letting me sit down on the furniture like a person, Ripper."

*Scorpion glares at Jordan.*

Jordan: "You shed, and you know it!"

*Jordan fires back with a glare of his own as Scorpion looks down.*

Ripper: "Make yourself comfortable, Scorpion."

*Scorpion looks on with shock as the view goes back to Jordan and Ripper. Jordan crouches down and exhales.*

Jordan: "It hurts to lose a title, huh?"

*No reply from Ripper.*

Jordan: "This business has robbed me of titles and women, but not of my belief that I am great enough to win the belts back and upgrade to better women. Heck, I got a red head now. That is hotter than some blond bimbo or some brunette who actually thought Croc was straight."

*Ripper chuckles at this.*

Jordan: "It is easy to be happy when things are good, but your real character is revealed when you are at your worst."

*Both Jordan and Ripper glance over to see Scorpion in his underwear laying on the couch.*

Ripper: "Too comfortable."

Scorpion: "Thank you, sir. I need boundaries."

*Scorpion picks up his past as "The Role Model" shakes that image out of his head.*

Jordan: "Anyway, I hope you make it through this. I kept telling myself that I stayed away because I could not handle you being champion, but the real reason is that I had an identity crisis with splitting with MJ Windsor and not having the title. I did not know who I was, and I was scared...but that is my problem, and I will deal with it."

*Jordan stands up.*

Jordan: "We are the only ones left from the old days. If you are not you, then that means I am all alone. I would have a lot of trouble handling that, so get it together soon. Even if you hate me as much as you say, we both know you would not resort to fighting on this level."

*Jordan pats Ripper on the shoulder before taking a few steps toward the door. He then turns and looks at Scorpion.*

Jordan: "By the way, if anyone finds out that Uncle Anthony was dishing out the feel goods, I will make your life so good the happiness will make you cry every day."

*Scorpion goes to talk, but Jordan cuts him off.*

Jordan: "Only to slowly take it all the way, so you live with the pain of knowing you actually were happy and will never get it back."

*Scorpion defiantly stands up.*

Scorpion: "You can't hurt me, anymore! Ripper treats me well. He doesn't make me hunch over, so he can sign papers on my back"

*Scorpion looks down.*

Scorpion: "But I really didn't mind it. It's what I imagine a hug feels like."

*Scorpion slowly looks up as Jordan shakes his head.*

Jordan: "No one is giving you a hug today."

Scorpion: "Awwwww."

Jordan: "Now, if you and the future lead singer of Dashboard Confessional do not mind, I have a Hardcore title to go win."

[Gregory "Ripper" Kennedy]

Ripper: “What did you call me?”

Anthony Jordan: “The future lead singer of Dashboard Confessional.”

Ripper: “Scorpion. Bring me my secure deposit box.”

:: Scorpion shuffles of into Rippers desk and pulls out one of the drawers. From inside he removes a metal box about the same side as said drawer. Ripper stands up and collects it. AJ looks on in bemusement as Scorpion hands the box to Ripper. ::

Ripper: “Now let’s see if I can remember what the passcode was. It wasn’t my birthday that would be too obvious. I think it was the log of my birthday squared. That would make the password...”

:: Ripper looks like he’s doing maths in his head. He then nods to himself and goes to enter a code into the box. However, Ripper deftly swings the box and connects with the side of AJ’s head causing “The role model” to crash to the ground as Ripper opens the now heavily dented box and takes out a sandwich. ::

Scorpion: “You keep a sandwich in the lockbox?”

Ripper: “Yeah. It’s a very easy way to lure AJ into a false sense of security so I can smash him round the head with it.”

Scorpion: “But won’t that only work once?”

Ripper: “You’d think that but if I hit him hard enough he shouldn’t remember what I did.”

Scorpion: “And did you hit him hard enough?”

Ripper: “Well seeing as the lock box is horribly dented, he’s on the floor making no sound and I am happily snacking away on this delicious sandwich I can only assume yes.”

Scorpion: “So what do we do now?”

Ripper: “Same thing I usually do when I lose a title.”

Scorpion: “Accept the fact it was inevitable and move on with your life.”

Ripper: “What? No. Go and get it back. When has never being the official champion stopped me from carrying around the title?”

Scorpion: “True.”

Ripper: “Although I have a tugging feeling that I should probably win this back fair and square. Scorpion you’re a legal counsel aren’t you”

Scorpion: “I don’t think it’s true just because you keep saying it but sure.”

Ripper: “Go get my contract and read through it. Tell me what my rights are when it comes to a re-match.”

Scorpion: “You can call a re-match for any show that you want. You can also choose the type of match assuming it is a fair match.”

Ripper: “That’s some good work Scorpion.”

Scorpion: “But everyone knows... Never mind”

Ripper: “Now I have a match against Slam this Anarchy don’t I?”

Scorpion: “That is what the card says.”

Ripper: “Excellent I can humiliate the new champion and then have my rematch next week. Now Scorpion we have one more thing to do. I may have left Croc down in the basement with Lil’ Bob. Let’s go find him.”

Scorpion: “Will we need the spelunking gear?”

Ripper: “Better safe than sorry.”