Post by Anthony Jordan on Oct 2, 2009 2:14:44 GMT -4
*The scene opens up with Anthony Jordan, in a "Role Model" T-shirt and khakis, standing with Chris Sonnier in the back. As soon as the camera is live, Sonnier starts.*
Sonnier: "Joining me now is the former two-time AWA Undisputed World Champion who has a chance to join MJ Windsor as the only grand slam champions in the AWA."
*Sonnier turns to Jordan.*
Sonnier: "What are your thoughts on the Hardcore Title?"
Jordan: "While it is not the title that interests me, I have to say that I will get a lot of satisfaction in hurting the fake Connection, I..."
*Jordan is drowned out by a voice off-camera.*
Voice: "BORRRRRRR-RINGGGGGGGG!"
*Jordan looks up and gives his goofy grin as Hardcore Fred walks into the scene clad in a EPWF T-shirt and his jean shorts along with his pacifier on a chain around his neck. The fans in the arena go wild for the legend as the mentor and pupil do the handshake/hug combo.*
Fred: "The old man forgot how to give a good promo."
Jordan: "Says the guy who has been laid up for the past four years."
Fred: "Touche."
Sonnier: "You shouldn't even be here. Mr. Draven won't take kindly to this."
*Fred scoffs at Sonnier.*
Fred: "I don't need to be threatened by a guy wearing dirty drawers!"
Sonnier: "My underwear is clean!"
Fred: "That guy said they weren't."
*Fred points past Sonnier. The pudgy interviewer turns to see who it is.*
Sonnier: "Who?"
*Fred doesn't reply, but gives Sonnier an atomic wedgie. Sonnier screams in pain, then gets a kick in the ass to send him on his way.*
Fred: "Go find him!"
*Jordan and Fred laugh as Fred managed to snatch the microphone and holds it up.*
Fred: "Hope you don't mind if I interrupt your little interview for the purposes of blatant self-promotion."
Jordan: "I got Kevin Cash on Monday. I do not exactly need much time or attention."
*Jordan gives his goofy grin as Fred nods.*
Fred: "So you goin' hardcore?"
Jordan: "Not really."
Fred: "So you ain't breakin' out the toys and goin' down the hershey highway? I heard you rolled like that."
Jordan: "To keep my body like this, I cannot eat chocolate."
*Fred just smiles and laughs as the naive Jordan missed the joke.*
Fred: "Same ol' AJ. Bein' a 'Role Model' and spokesman for the National Virgin Society of America."
*Jordan frowns at that remark.*
Jordan: "Hey, they do some good work!"
Fred: "Yeah, but not the fun kind!"
Jordan: "Vulgar as always, huh, Fred?"
Fred: "Just gettin' started!"
*Fred turns and looks at the AWA banner and shakes his head.*
Fred: "AWA wrestlers shit in the ring,
and it ain't no hit.
However, in the EPWF ring,
we are the shit!
EPWF main-eventers, like me,
don't need no protection.
AWA main-eventers
run in gay groups like the Cunt-nection!"
Jordan: "Hey, I used to be in the Connection!"
*Fred just shrugs.*
Fred: "EPWF is big.
We're supersize.
AWA's weak,
barely two fries.
We got it goin' on,
rockin' da club all night.
Ya'll are lame,
wrestling's Napoleon Dynamite."
Jordan: "We are no BWA, CWA, or USCW, but we are not that bad. I am still under contract...well, maybe we are that bad since I do not have the title."
Fred: "We're takin' over,
and it's really fuckin' hostile.
AWA's joinin' WCW and ECW
on the waste pile.
We got 'The Superstar'
and wrestlings true thug.
You got 'The Ego.'
His star is about as big as a bug.
You got Slam and Cash.
Do they provide any strife?
'Bout as hard as getting head,
from Draven's ex-wife!"
*Jordan shakes his head and tries not to laugh.*
Jordan: "You are lucky I am now against the owner or I would be worried about being associated with you."
Fred: "EPWF's goin' off,
and it's going to be tight.
Catch our pay-per-view
on Sunday night.
There will be a new champion,
and I know who he's gonna be.
His name is spelled
F-R-E-D!"
*Fred tosses the microphone to Jordan before throwing up his trademark "F" hand gesture. The fans in the arena are going wild as Jordan raises the microphone and grins sheepishly.*
Jordan: "Yeah, I mentored that! THHHHHUUUUUGGGG LLLLIIIIIFFFFEEEEE!"
*Jordan drops the microphone and walks off as we fade to black.*
Sonnier: "Joining me now is the former two-time AWA Undisputed World Champion who has a chance to join MJ Windsor as the only grand slam champions in the AWA."
*Sonnier turns to Jordan.*
Sonnier: "What are your thoughts on the Hardcore Title?"
Jordan: "While it is not the title that interests me, I have to say that I will get a lot of satisfaction in hurting the fake Connection, I..."
*Jordan is drowned out by a voice off-camera.*
Voice: "BORRRRRRR-RINGGGGGGGG!"
*Jordan looks up and gives his goofy grin as Hardcore Fred walks into the scene clad in a EPWF T-shirt and his jean shorts along with his pacifier on a chain around his neck. The fans in the arena go wild for the legend as the mentor and pupil do the handshake/hug combo.*
Fred: "The old man forgot how to give a good promo."
Jordan: "Says the guy who has been laid up for the past four years."
Fred: "Touche."
Sonnier: "You shouldn't even be here. Mr. Draven won't take kindly to this."
*Fred scoffs at Sonnier.*
Fred: "I don't need to be threatened by a guy wearing dirty drawers!"
Sonnier: "My underwear is clean!"
Fred: "That guy said they weren't."
*Fred points past Sonnier. The pudgy interviewer turns to see who it is.*
Sonnier: "Who?"
*Fred doesn't reply, but gives Sonnier an atomic wedgie. Sonnier screams in pain, then gets a kick in the ass to send him on his way.*
Fred: "Go find him!"
*Jordan and Fred laugh as Fred managed to snatch the microphone and holds it up.*
Fred: "Hope you don't mind if I interrupt your little interview for the purposes of blatant self-promotion."
Jordan: "I got Kevin Cash on Monday. I do not exactly need much time or attention."
*Jordan gives his goofy grin as Fred nods.*
Fred: "So you goin' hardcore?"
Jordan: "Not really."
Fred: "So you ain't breakin' out the toys and goin' down the hershey highway? I heard you rolled like that."
Jordan: "To keep my body like this, I cannot eat chocolate."
*Fred just smiles and laughs as the naive Jordan missed the joke.*
Fred: "Same ol' AJ. Bein' a 'Role Model' and spokesman for the National Virgin Society of America."
*Jordan frowns at that remark.*
Jordan: "Hey, they do some good work!"
Fred: "Yeah, but not the fun kind!"
Jordan: "Vulgar as always, huh, Fred?"
Fred: "Just gettin' started!"
*Fred turns and looks at the AWA banner and shakes his head.*
Fred: "AWA wrestlers shit in the ring,
and it ain't no hit.
However, in the EPWF ring,
we are the shit!
EPWF main-eventers, like me,
don't need no protection.
AWA main-eventers
run in gay groups like the Cunt-nection!"
Jordan: "Hey, I used to be in the Connection!"
*Fred just shrugs.*
Fred: "EPWF is big.
We're supersize.
AWA's weak,
barely two fries.
We got it goin' on,
rockin' da club all night.
Ya'll are lame,
wrestling's Napoleon Dynamite."
Jordan: "We are no BWA, CWA, or USCW, but we are not that bad. I am still under contract...well, maybe we are that bad since I do not have the title."
Fred: "We're takin' over,
and it's really fuckin' hostile.
AWA's joinin' WCW and ECW
on the waste pile.
We got 'The Superstar'
and wrestlings true thug.
You got 'The Ego.'
His star is about as big as a bug.
You got Slam and Cash.
Do they provide any strife?
'Bout as hard as getting head,
from Draven's ex-wife!"
*Jordan shakes his head and tries not to laugh.*
Jordan: "You are lucky I am now against the owner or I would be worried about being associated with you."
Fred: "EPWF's goin' off,
and it's going to be tight.
Catch our pay-per-view
on Sunday night.
There will be a new champion,
and I know who he's gonna be.
His name is spelled
F-R-E-D!"
*Fred tosses the microphone to Jordan before throwing up his trademark "F" hand gesture. The fans in the arena are going wild as Jordan raises the microphone and grins sheepishly.*
Jordan: "Yeah, I mentored that! THHHHHUUUUUGGGG LLLLIIIIIFFFFEEEEE!"
*Jordan drops the microphone and walks off as we fade to black.*
