Post by Anthony Jordan on Oct 14, 2009 11:08:56 GMT -4
*The scene opens up with Ripper raising his hand to knock on a door. With his hands inches away from the door, Ripper shakes his head and notices what he's doing. He turns around and runs into Scorpion.*
Scorpion: "And just where are you going? You agreed to meet with AJ to try to be a functioning team, and now you are backing out?"
Ripper: "Not at all."
Scorpion: "Then why were you walking away."
*Ripper doesn't answer, but walks off screen. For a few seconds nothing is heard, then a battle cry is heard as Ripper, carrying a battering ram, runs straight into "The Role Model's" door. The door splinters on impact and a shocked Anthony Jordan screams like a girl and jumps up on his couch. Ripper, acting as if nothing unusual happened, tosses the battering ram outside and turns to Scorpion.*
Ripper: "I just can't bring myself to knock on his door."
*The two enter as Jordan finally suppresses a potential heart attack and gets off the couch.*
Jordan: "Okay, we still have a long way to go in regards to extending basic courtesy to each other. We have a week. Surely, we can make it work."
Scorpion: "Now that's a positive attitude! Ripper, don't you have something to say?"
Ripper: "Not particularly."
Scorpion: "About the door, perhaps?"
*Knowing this won't end unless he plays along, Ripper speaks in a monotone voice.*
Ripper: "I'm sorry."
Scorpion: "Good."
Ripper: "I'm sorry you didn't invest in a RipCo brand door that I offered to sell you for the low, introductory rate for $47,000."
Scorpion: "Ripper..."
Jordan: "Oh yeah, I love to shill out half of one-hundred large for a door you drew on a bed sheet!"
*Ripper points at Jordan and fires back.*
Ripper: "It wouldn't have broken when hit with a battering ram!"
Scorpion: "This isn't productive."
Ripper: "Well, he's making exaggerated claims! $47,000 is nowhere near half of $100,000! AJ and his damn sensationalism are dooming this team!"
Jordan: "Glad to see you are grounded in facts, Greg."
Ripper: "More than I can say for your religious and political views!"
*Jordan now gets fired up and points at Ripper.*
Jordan: "I will never join your religion! Get over it!"
Ripper: "Don't blame me when the mob burns you as a heretic."
Scorpion: "C'mon, Ripper..."
Ripper: "What? I tried to do something nice, and he threw it in my face!"
Scorpion: "Is there nothing that can unite you two?"
Jordan: "I tried to make this work out. I invited Ripper over and even offered to let him pay for snacks. Dare I say it, I even hoped we would make a 'we are becoming friends' montage, but I think we all know what the chances are of that happening."
Ripper: "Negative fivenine!"
Jordan: "No one uses your made up numbering system!"
*Jordan and Ripper start yelling at each other until Scorpion pushes them apart.*
Scorpion: "Nothing can make you two work together for a week."
Ripper: "Doubtful."
Jordan: "I cannot think of a sight more disturbing and disgusting than being on the same team as Ripper!"
*Jordan walks over to the bathroom and opens the door. He is greeted by the sight of Crazy Bill sitting on the toilet eating a sub.*
Bill: "Knock, fucker! This is occupied! However, you can use the sink, if you like."
*Too horrified to reply to the trespasser using his bathroom, Jordan remains silent. Ripper and Scorpion walk over to see what's up and both start dry heaving. Jordan falls back and manages to shut the door. Absent-mindedly he pulls out his cell phone and makes a call.*
Jordan: "Hello? Yeah, this is Jordan. I need my bathroom to be burned to the ground..."
*Scorpion nudges Ripper. Ripper sighs and takes Jordan's phone from him and tosses it aside.*
Ripper: "The hell you will! I'LL burn it for you...partner!"
*Ripper smiles and extends his hand. Jordan gives his goofy grin.*
Jordan: "You mean it?"
Ripper: "I sure do!"
*Jordan shakes Ripper's hand. They continue pumping for fifteen seconds as Jordan looks around confused. Ripper finally frees his hand and quizzes Jordan on what he's doing.*
Ripper: "What are you doing?"
Jordan: "This is when they usually cut to the 'we are becoming friends' montage you see on television."
Ripper: "We have to create the montage before we can segue to it."
Jordan: "Oh..."
*A dejected Jordan looks down.*
Jordan: "Do you...want to go make a montage?"
Scorpion: "And just where are you going? You agreed to meet with AJ to try to be a functioning team, and now you are backing out?"
Ripper: "Not at all."
Scorpion: "Then why were you walking away."
*Ripper doesn't answer, but walks off screen. For a few seconds nothing is heard, then a battle cry is heard as Ripper, carrying a battering ram, runs straight into "The Role Model's" door. The door splinters on impact and a shocked Anthony Jordan screams like a girl and jumps up on his couch. Ripper, acting as if nothing unusual happened, tosses the battering ram outside and turns to Scorpion.*
Ripper: "I just can't bring myself to knock on his door."
*The two enter as Jordan finally suppresses a potential heart attack and gets off the couch.*
Jordan: "Okay, we still have a long way to go in regards to extending basic courtesy to each other. We have a week. Surely, we can make it work."
Scorpion: "Now that's a positive attitude! Ripper, don't you have something to say?"
Ripper: "Not particularly."
Scorpion: "About the door, perhaps?"
*Knowing this won't end unless he plays along, Ripper speaks in a monotone voice.*
Ripper: "I'm sorry."
Scorpion: "Good."
Ripper: "I'm sorry you didn't invest in a RipCo brand door that I offered to sell you for the low, introductory rate for $47,000."
Scorpion: "Ripper..."
Jordan: "Oh yeah, I love to shill out half of one-hundred large for a door you drew on a bed sheet!"
*Ripper points at Jordan and fires back.*
Ripper: "It wouldn't have broken when hit with a battering ram!"
Scorpion: "This isn't productive."
Ripper: "Well, he's making exaggerated claims! $47,000 is nowhere near half of $100,000! AJ and his damn sensationalism are dooming this team!"
Jordan: "Glad to see you are grounded in facts, Greg."
Ripper: "More than I can say for your religious and political views!"
*Jordan now gets fired up and points at Ripper.*
Jordan: "I will never join your religion! Get over it!"
Ripper: "Don't blame me when the mob burns you as a heretic."
Scorpion: "C'mon, Ripper..."
Ripper: "What? I tried to do something nice, and he threw it in my face!"
Scorpion: "Is there nothing that can unite you two?"
Jordan: "I tried to make this work out. I invited Ripper over and even offered to let him pay for snacks. Dare I say it, I even hoped we would make a 'we are becoming friends' montage, but I think we all know what the chances are of that happening."
Ripper: "Negative fivenine!"
Jordan: "No one uses your made up numbering system!"
*Jordan and Ripper start yelling at each other until Scorpion pushes them apart.*
Scorpion: "Nothing can make you two work together for a week."
Ripper: "Doubtful."
Jordan: "I cannot think of a sight more disturbing and disgusting than being on the same team as Ripper!"
*Jordan walks over to the bathroom and opens the door. He is greeted by the sight of Crazy Bill sitting on the toilet eating a sub.*
Bill: "Knock, fucker! This is occupied! However, you can use the sink, if you like."
*Too horrified to reply to the trespasser using his bathroom, Jordan remains silent. Ripper and Scorpion walk over to see what's up and both start dry heaving. Jordan falls back and manages to shut the door. Absent-mindedly he pulls out his cell phone and makes a call.*
Jordan: "Hello? Yeah, this is Jordan. I need my bathroom to be burned to the ground..."
*Scorpion nudges Ripper. Ripper sighs and takes Jordan's phone from him and tosses it aside.*
Ripper: "The hell you will! I'LL burn it for you...partner!"
*Ripper smiles and extends his hand. Jordan gives his goofy grin.*
Jordan: "You mean it?"
Ripper: "I sure do!"
*Jordan shakes Ripper's hand. They continue pumping for fifteen seconds as Jordan looks around confused. Ripper finally frees his hand and quizzes Jordan on what he's doing.*
Ripper: "What are you doing?"
Jordan: "This is when they usually cut to the 'we are becoming friends' montage you see on television."
Ripper: "We have to create the montage before we can segue to it."
Jordan: "Oh..."
*A dejected Jordan looks down.*
Jordan: "Do you...want to go make a montage?"
