Checking on the Minor League

[Anthony Jordan]

*The scene starts off outside the EPWF Arena. A few seconds later, "The Role Model" and "The Virus" walk onto the scene.*

Ripper: "So why am I here with you?"

Jordan: "Because I need someone to talk to. I always say what I am thinking, so without a follower, a friend, or whatever you are to me around, I look like a homeless person in better clothes."

*Ripper sighs and looks down.*

Jordan: "And maybe while we are here, we can solve a super cool mystery?"

Ripper: "Yes!"

*Energized again, Ripper walks with his head held high. As the duo gets closer, the camera zooms in on Hardcore Fred talking to a member of security. As soon as he sees his two friends, the EPWF superstar ends the conversation and jogs over. He greets Ripper with a hug and gives Jordan strong handshake.*

Fred: "Glad to see you two made it out."

Ripper: "So what crime has been committed?"

*Fred gives Ripper a quizzical look before turning to Jordan.*

Jordan: "Just play along once in a while to keep him happy."

Fred: "Oookay."

Jordan: "So you still have not won the title on the senior circuit, yet, old man?"

*Jordan gives his goofy grin as Fred laughs it off.*

Fred: "Closer to gold than you are, fag."

*Jordan "ooos" and turns to Ripper.*

Jordan: "He sure let you have it, Greg!"

Ripper: "What?"

Jordan: "So what is new around here?"

Fred: "Not much. Shocked you showed up before Super Anarchy."

Jordan: "I am facing Johnny London. I think I will be okay."

Fred: "What about MJW saying he's getting calls from you girl?"

*Jordan looks confused before slapping his forehead.*

Jordan: "I still do have a girlfriend! Crap! I guess forgetting she exists is a form of neglect."

Fred: "I would say so."

*Jordan pulls out his phone and types something in before place it back in the front left pocket of his khakis.*

Jordan: "Texted the florist. Who is Mister Awesome Boyfriend?"

*Fred turns to Ripper.*

Fred: "Aww, Rips, he's sending you flowers!"

*Ripper responds by punching Jordan in the chest. Jordan coughs and doubles over while trying to reply.*

Jordan: "What was that for?"

Ripper: "If I get insulted for being around you, you pay. That's the deal."

Jordan: "But we never had a deal."

Ripper: "Oh, we had a deal. It doesn't matter if you were ever informed about it or even agreed to it or not."

*"The Role Model" recovers as the trio walks inside where Nicholas Jacob Draven is holding a microphone and a Zima while talking to some kids. Fred turns to the AWA superstars.*

Fred: "We're entertaining some lucky, young fans today. I'm sure they'll be glad to see you."

*The camera now focus on NJD.*

NJD: "How many you have fathers? Show of hands."

*All of the children, save one, raise their hands. NJD walks over to him and looks down.*

NJD: "Hey, kid. Why's your hand not up? What, no father? You don't look like Jesus, bro!"

Kid: "My daddy died...while I was sleeping."

NJD: "Oh, well you had a father, so now you're fuckin' free, man!"

*He turns to the rest of the kids.*

NJD: "C'mon, I wanna see those hands up!"

*He looks at his own hand and gasps.*

NJD: "Wait a minute. Nicky Draven's hand isn't up! Does he not have a father?"

*Before the kids can answer, NJD screams the answer.*

NJD: "NO!!! Fathers are loving, caring and protective men, and I don't have one of those! But who cares, man?"

*NJD starts crying, but fights through the tears.*

NJD: "Who cares, who cares, who cares!? Maybe I did steal EPWF from you. You loved your precious fed more than you loved me, anyway!"

*He falls to his knees.*

NJD: "FATHER!!!! FATHER!!!!!"

*Jordan and Ripper look shocked.*

Fred: "It was just his second Zima."

Jordan: "Timmy could not hold his liquor, either."

Ripper: "I don't even think that qualifies as 'liqour.'"

*All three walk up to NJD. He notices them and backs up.*

NJD: "What are you two doing here? Did my father send you?!"

*He lunges a Ripper, but the sober, stronger wrestler easily holds his ground. Draven lightly slaps Ripper's chest before Fred tosses the EPWF owner over his shoulder.*

Fred: "I got to get him away from the public eye. Feel free to explore the arena."

*Fred leaves with NJD as Jordan and Ripper turn to each other.*

Ripper: "So you chose this over spending time with your attractive, red-headed girlfriend?"

*Jordan looks down.*

Ripper: "This will further undercut any claims of heterosexuality you make. You know that, right?"

*Jordan speaks in a monotone voice like a child who just got scolded.*

Jordan: "I understand."

*Noticing that kids are unsupervised, Ripper takes charge.*

Ripper: "And that was NJD's one-man play!"

*Ripper claps. Eventually the nervous children join in. Ripper then points to the rack of steel chairs behind the kids.*

Ripper: "Pick up a chair, kids. That's yours to keep!"

*The kids cheer as they each take a chair.*

Ripper: "But you'll need it right now..."

*Ripper steps back and pats Jordan on the back.*

Ripper: "Because I have a real treat for you. Standing next to me is something that looks like former two-time AWA Undisputed World Champion, Anthony Jordan!"

*Jordan gives his goofy grin and waves.*

Ripper: "To prove their superiority, EPWF made a pinata of one of AWA's finest for you to destroy!"

*Jordan's goofy grin falls off his face as he turns to Ripper and shakes his head. Ripper gives an evil smile and shoves Jordan at the kids. They respond by wailing on him. Jordan screams and falls to the ground.*

Ripper: "Remember to aim for the crotch! It's the weakest seam!"

[Gregory "Ripper" Kennedy]

:: Ripper turns and walks away as Jordan can be heard yelping as the kids continue to pound on him. The sound of steel hitting concrete and softly hitting against flesh can also be heard. Reaching into his pocket Ripper pulls out a slim cigarette and takes out a book of matches along with it. Breaking a match away from the book Ripper strikes it and lights the cigarette as all the colour drains from the scene leaving it in black and white. The scene slows and Ripper’s movements become more emphasised as he slowly smokes on the cigarette. A voice over begins, obviously Ripper putting on a stereotypical film noir voice.::

Ripper (Voice Over): “It was a cold night. The wails of the rare Jordan drifted across me like a blanket and one thing crossed my mind. I don’t smoke.”

:: As the voice over says that the scene speeds up back to normal and the black and white Ripper begins to splutter and he drops the cigarette on the floor and stamps it out::

Ripper (Voice Over): “I had come here, not because I was dragged, but to solve a case. You see an old friend had got in contact and said he had a problem. A problem only my brilliant reasoning could solve. You see because I’m that awesome.”

:: The black and white Ripper seems to be listening in to the voice over and smiles at the praise he is giving himself. Nodding Ripper smiles and walks off down the corridor::

Ripper (Voice Over): It was a couple of days ago when he contacted me. It had been a long time since I had heard from him. Almost two days. He’d said something had been stolen, something important to him. At first I thought he may have just misplaced a beer again but it soon became apparent that this was no joke. No jokes tend to start with ‘Knock, Knock’ and ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’ Usually jokes were funny and if this was a joke it certainly wasn’t that funny.”

::The Ripper on screen nods to himself as in agreeing with his inner monologue. Ripper stops and slaps his head before chuckling to himself and continuing::

Ripper (Voice Over): “Sorry just remembered another set up to a joke. Jokes can also start “Crazy Bill is so fat…” Yeah that’s a good one. Where was I? Oh yeah. It defiantly wasn’t a funny one. This man trusted me more than anything and this was the least I could do to repay him. Even if I didn’t quite believe him.

:: Ripper opens a door and walks into a dressing room. The EPWF Xtreme champion is standing before him. Whitey is wearing his usual clothes with the title wrapped right around his waist. His face seems to be one of pure distress.::

Whitey: “Thank god you’re here. I have no idea where it is. I think it was stolen!”

Ripper: (Voice Over) “This was a simple case with a very simple answer. I couldn’t believe he had wasted my time.”

Ripper: “It’s around your waist you moron!”

::At that point colour washes back into the shot as Ripper begins to shout at Whitey::

Ripper: “ I can’t believe you wasted my time. Do you know how much it is to set up and shoot a film noir scene and for this?!”

: : Ripper turns and marches out the door slamming it so hard that it bounces out of the lock frame. Ripper is still shouting about the cost and how stupid Whitey has been as he storms down the corridor. Looking down Whitey sees his title and smiles and jumps with glee. Taking the title off he hugs it obviously happy that it hasn’t been stolen::