Post by Anthony Jordan on Dec 22, 2009 10:17:42 GMT -4
Hey, guys. Been away for almost a month, so I'm going to update you on where I am:
- First, my health is pretty good right now. After about a month of suffering, I finally started getting better 2 weeks ago. I feel like nothing's wrong with me. Treatment didn't help, either. Nor did tests reveal anything. I'm really feeling as if it just past or perhaps subtle changes to my diet helped me out. Unsure as to exactly why, but it feels good to feel good.
- Second, I hated being away, but it's hard to want to RP when you have to choose between eating and an hour's worth of some of the worst pain you ever felt in your life. Also, I felt as if I let the fed down by not really having something great with Holtz. Eventually, I let it build in my mind to where it was too big of a hurdle to overlook. I'm the kind of guy that once something gets in my head, it grows and becomes 100 times bigger than it ever was. I tried to talk to a couple of you on FB, but no one really said anything. Sean picked up on me missing this place and gave me the kick in the ass I needed.
- Third, I was in a terrible rut. I was shying away from hobbies and interests because I was used to doing nothing and having no desire to do anything. I hadn't caught any wrestling since Ventura hosted RAW (though I watched last night and realized I didn't miss much). I rarely hit the gym. I obviously wasn't here. Everything seemed like too much work. I still liked it all, but I let myself feel as if I had no time for anything when the truth was that I wasn't choosing to make time.
- Fourth, I let myself get overwhelmed here. I felt I had no stable ground for my character. I wanted to do comedy RPs with Sean, but Luke and I were talking about plans that were contrary to that. I could not figure out how to make a character be two extremes and be credible. I got distressed and dismissed a lot of RP ideas because I didn't know where I was going. I even considered bringing Fred back as my RP character, but I have backed off of that as he is the more shallow character (works great short term, but I really have to do a lot of work to keep him interesting long term).
I want to give this a go again because I think it'd be too disrespectful to everyone's work over the years just to leave for no real reason. I think the AJ character will fundamentally be the same. I'd like for him to be a heel like the old days, but when I write for him and see him, I see him like HBK (so liked despite his quirks that it is hard to boo him even when he's doing heelish things). "The Role Model" is who he is, and on the scale of face-heel that we've made over the years, he's a downright decent guy compared to many others. As for who he faces and any feuds, I'll take proposals or just let ownership do what they do. Any feedback on my latest would be nice.
Overall, I choose to see things as getting better. I'll be in a less than ideal situation with $2,000+ worth of medical bills coming my way, but as long as I'm well and can live life, fuck money. It's really not as important as we think it is. I'm working to get back into a routine, and I think it's going to be successful. It's all mental at this point.
- First, my health is pretty good right now. After about a month of suffering, I finally started getting better 2 weeks ago. I feel like nothing's wrong with me. Treatment didn't help, either. Nor did tests reveal anything. I'm really feeling as if it just past or perhaps subtle changes to my diet helped me out. Unsure as to exactly why, but it feels good to feel good.
- Second, I hated being away, but it's hard to want to RP when you have to choose between eating and an hour's worth of some of the worst pain you ever felt in your life. Also, I felt as if I let the fed down by not really having something great with Holtz. Eventually, I let it build in my mind to where it was too big of a hurdle to overlook. I'm the kind of guy that once something gets in my head, it grows and becomes 100 times bigger than it ever was. I tried to talk to a couple of you on FB, but no one really said anything. Sean picked up on me missing this place and gave me the kick in the ass I needed.
- Third, I was in a terrible rut. I was shying away from hobbies and interests because I was used to doing nothing and having no desire to do anything. I hadn't caught any wrestling since Ventura hosted RAW (though I watched last night and realized I didn't miss much). I rarely hit the gym. I obviously wasn't here. Everything seemed like too much work. I still liked it all, but I let myself feel as if I had no time for anything when the truth was that I wasn't choosing to make time.
- Fourth, I let myself get overwhelmed here. I felt I had no stable ground for my character. I wanted to do comedy RPs with Sean, but Luke and I were talking about plans that were contrary to that. I could not figure out how to make a character be two extremes and be credible. I got distressed and dismissed a lot of RP ideas because I didn't know where I was going. I even considered bringing Fred back as my RP character, but I have backed off of that as he is the more shallow character (works great short term, but I really have to do a lot of work to keep him interesting long term).
I want to give this a go again because I think it'd be too disrespectful to everyone's work over the years just to leave for no real reason. I think the AJ character will fundamentally be the same. I'd like for him to be a heel like the old days, but when I write for him and see him, I see him like HBK (so liked despite his quirks that it is hard to boo him even when he's doing heelish things). "The Role Model" is who he is, and on the scale of face-heel that we've made over the years, he's a downright decent guy compared to many others. As for who he faces and any feuds, I'll take proposals or just let ownership do what they do. Any feedback on my latest would be nice.
Overall, I choose to see things as getting better. I'll be in a less than ideal situation with $2,000+ worth of medical bills coming my way, but as long as I'm well and can live life, fuck money. It's really not as important as we think it is. I'm working to get back into a routine, and I think it's going to be successful. It's all mental at this point.
